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The rules:

1. Thou shalt never have a happy relationship. If you do find yourself involved in a happy relationship, kill your wife, and then write a song about it.

2. If they arrest you, all the better. You can now write a song about being in jail.

3. Thou shalt not converse with Irishmen.

4. During ones lifetime, it is required that you write one song about leaving home; one about returning home and one about losing your home to gambling debts.

5. Thou shalt never use the C minor 7th chord.