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One-liner Joke




One-liners are known for eliciting cheap, quick laughs, but they can become tiresome to audiences when used excessively by a performer. For example, Freddy Krueger became known for one-liners, particularly those related to the manner in which his victims died, in the '' A Nightmare On Elm Street '' series of Slasher Film s. This was seen as a sign of the series' degradation, and indeed the trend was most prevalent towards the end of the series. Humor derived from one-liners nonetheless has the benefit of alleviating awkward situations in many cases.


Examples


  • "Hey Shocker ! How does your absorbency compare to the leading brand?"

  • --- Spider-Man in the Spider-Man 2 video game

  • "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."

  • --- Groucho Marx

  • "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."

  • --- Dorothy Parker

  • "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."

  • ---Dorothy Parker, speaking of Katharine Hepburn

  • 90% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  • ---Anonymous

  • "If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream."

  • --- Barry Goldwater

  • "Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."

  • --- James Scott McEwan

  • We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

  • ---Anonymous

  • "Take my wife. Please."

  • --- Henny Youngman -known as the "King of the One-Liner."

  • It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

  • ---A Jack Handey "Deep Thought"

  • "There are three kinds of people; those who count and those who cannot." (best delivered holding four fingers)

  • ---Anonymous

  • "There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand the Binary Calculus and those who don't." (best delivered in print because saying "one zero" betrays the joke's punchline.)

  • ---Anonymous

  • "Politics is made up of two words: "Poli," which is Greek for "many," and "tics," which are bloodsucking insects."

  • --- Gore Vidal

  • "I have nothing to declare except my genius."

  • --- Oscar Wilde , upon arriving at US customs 1882.

  • "I haven't slept for ten days, 'cause that would be too long."

  • --- Mitch Hedberg

  • "A friend asked me if I slept well. I said, 'No, I made a few mistakes'."

  • --- Steven Wright

  • "A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."

  • --- Jay London