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DESCRIPTION Launched in '' carried a fine print Disclaimer , the ''WWN'' never publicly questioned the accuracy of its own stories until 2004, when the paper began stating that "the reader should suspend disbelief for the sake of enjoyment". In recent years, ''The Sun'' has moved more towards articles on health, miracle cures, and strange-but-true stories, leaving the ''WWN'' alone in its unique niche of basing an entire weekly publication on made-up "news". The ''WWN'' has perhaps grown even more Farcical and outlandish in the 2000s . When most of the Supermarket Tabloid s were acquired by Fleet Street publishers they switched to Celebrity gossip, but the ''Weekly World News'' remains devoted to weirdness. The ''WWN'' is also unique in that it is printed entirely in black and white. Like most of the tabloids in the U.S. , the ''Weekly World News'' is published in Boca Raton, Florida . Its longtime editor was Eddie Clontz , who left the paper in 2001 and died in 2004. {Link without Title} Regular columns include Ed Anger (opinion), Dotti Primrose (advice) and Serena and Sonya Sabak ( Psychic ). Semi-regular stories follow the progress of Bat Boy , the half-bat, half-boy superhero; and P'lod , an Extraterrestrial who became involved in Earth politics and had an affair with Hillary Clinton . Other recurring themes include the oncoming great depression/apocalypse, and newly found lost prophecies. A new addition is cartoonist Peter Bagge 's "Adventures of Batboy". Likewise, throughout 2003 , just prior to the capture of Saddam Hussein , and persisting after his capture, ''WWN'' ran a series of articles on an alleged (and obviously made-up) romance between Hussein and Osama Bin Laden . The "couple" apparently had a steamy, sensual affair, before a wedding was performed, with Hussein as the bride and bin Laden as the groom. Later, they traveled the globe, ending up in France . They adopted a shaved ape that posed as a human child. After an argument, Hussein left for Iraq to be comforted in his home town Tikrit by family and friends, and hid in the spider hole until Bat Boy discovered him. In the recent past, ''WWN'' ran a story claiming that George W. Bush was openly campaigning to become the next Pope . ''WWN'' has also produced series of stories on Alien Abduction s, the Loch Ness Monster , Bigfoot , and Time Travel . (In one of the latest, Iraq is revealed to possess a time tunnel capable of facilitating time travel.) The ''WWN'' is credited with starting the wave of Elvis Sightings in the early 1990s with a series of articles claiming that Elvis Presley had faked his death and had recently emerged from years of seclusion to prepare for a comeback. Obviously altered photos purported to show a gray-haired balding Elvis sneaking into a movie theater and coming out of a Burger King restaurant. When the US Postal Service conducted a poll to determine the design of the Elvis Commemorative Postage Stamp , the ''WWN'' conducted its ''own'' poll pitting the USPS' 1950s Elvis and 1970s Elvis versus their own 1990s Elvis. The ''WWN's'' Elvis naturally won. Sometimes stories published in the Weekly World News will send shock waves through the legal and law enforcement communities. For example, in early 1989 , WWN published startling photographs on the front page of executed serial killer, Ted Bundy , on the autopsy table. Electrode burns on Bundy's shaved head with his fixed and dilated pupils staring into space could clearly be seen in the photographs. Angry and surprised officials in Florida vowed to catch the person responsible. Eventually, a low-level employee of the Alachua County, Florida Medical Examiners office was arrested and charged with taking and selling the photographs. More recently, however, ''WWN'' has gone through some drastic changes. Beginning on May 9th, 2005, the ''Weekly World News'' went "All New", along with other tabloid papers, such as the National Enquirer who recently became "Bigger•Bolder•Better". In the new ''Weekly World News'', two regular columns were dropped, Serena and Sonya Sabak's Psychic column and Dotti Primrose's "Dear Dotti". ''WWN'' explains that the Sabak sisters left to study meditation in India, however left nothing about the whereabouts of Dotti. Ed Anger is the only regular column that remains. ''WWN'' now has a weekly "Weird Picture Search" as well as "''Weekly World News'' Junior", a page of news that is designated for younger readers (but is still humorous to adult readers). The short-lasting "Hometown Hottie" feature was also dropped, but the "Page 5 Girl" feature was salvaged. Also making the scene is ''WWN's'' new feature, " Miss Adventure ". This feature tells of "America's Gayest Hero", a Homosexual man who has penetrated the Mob , gone to Hollywood , and having numerous adventures. Oprah has often been the item of WWN's articles, such as "Oprah's gay scandal," "Oprah is an alien," and "Oprah ate my baby." More recently, Weekly World News developed an e-mail survey that is sent out each week that reads: ''To participate in this week's survey, please log onto our web site. You'll find some of our proposed covers for an upcoming issue. Please tell us which one you would be most likely to buy at the newsstand. Please be sure you to complete the survey as soon as possible.'' ''Thank you again for helping make Weekly World News even better.'' RECURRING SUBJECTS Bat Boy Possibly the best known of all the stories to come out of ''WWN''. . Page 5 Girl Each week a different model is featured on page 5 and on the back page. She is usually wearing a Bikini and a description of her is printed. Elvis Presley ''Weekly World News'' is often credited as starting the Elvis Is Alive Rumors in the mid-'90s. Numerous stories have been published featuring photos and interviews with a healthy, but notably aged Elvis Presley. On September 6 , 2004 the ''Weekly World News'' released an interview with Elvis — the first since faking his death on August 16 , 1977 . The King admitted to being hooked real bad on Prescription Drugs and had to fake his death to escape the stresses that stardom was bringing. The King, now striken with Arthritis , says his coffin contains a double — the body of Jesse Presley, the Twin that Presley's mother, Gladys, and father, Vernon, insisted had been Stillborn . Elvis, who is currently living in a 14-room log home in upstate New York , says "Jesse was born with brain damage and he grew up in a home. When he finally died of a Heart Attack in 1977, I knew it was a sign from God . The Lord was telling me that if I didn't stop taking drugs and get out of the Music business, I'd be dead soon, too. I hope fans will forgive me, because I didn't have a choice. I had to go into hiding- I couldn't go on living that way." Surprisingly enough, Presley invited ''Weekly World News'' own reporter, Dorian Wagner, into his home (in a Location they couldn't, for obvious reasons, disclose). Elvis told the ''Weekly World News'' that he was tempted many times to "call one of the TV networks or '' The National Enquirer ''." The King declined to answer Question s about his family — ex-wife Priscilla Presley and daughter Lisa Marie — although he did let it slip that he is "very proud of that young lady." ''Weekly World News'' reports that he was slightly more talkative about old Friend s and Relative s, some of whom rushed to capitalize on his name after he faked his death and went into hiding, as he puts it, "in the mountains of North Carolina , up near Cherokee where a man can disappear as long as he wants to." Interestingly enough, The King — who admits that he was "blowed up like an old toad fish" when he disappeared from public view almost three Decade s ago — is still on the chunky side. This seemed odd, given the fact that he snacked on fresh organic veggies and roasted tofu throughout the interview — until he revealed that he "still likes to fry up peanut butter and banana sandwiches in a couple of sticks of butter," creating the high-calorie, heart-clogging snack that he made famous. Intriguingly, he went on to insist that he "absolutely, positively does not live alone." He refused to elaborate, but the interviewer noticed two pairs of petite pantyhose and a breast enhancing "Wonder Bra" hanging from the shower head in a bathroom, indicating that at least one of the "old friends" and perhaps the person who lives with Elvis is a woman. Presley says he sings "every day of my life, but only in the shower." As for how he has occupied himself during his long years in hiding, the ex-superstar says, "I've been doing all the things that ordinary people do — reading, piddling around the house, I've even got a little garden out back." This 2004 story of Presley is espically interesting when you consider that some time in the late 1990s, The Weekly World News ran a front cover that said "Elvis Presley Dead!", claiming that he had been living a secret life since 1977, but was now "really dead". The World's Fattest... Numerous stories regarding shockingly obese people and animals have made the pages of ''WWN'', the most popular of which being Tonya, the world's fattest cat. After first being discovered, ''WWN'' encouraged readers to send in their guesses as to exactly how much they believed Tonya weighed. Weighing in at over 80 lbs, Tonya has been featured being adopted, and possibly sat on by the world's fattest woman. Later stories involved Tonya's attempts to lose weight through the "Catkins" diet, her struggle with anorexia, and claims that she had been eaten by the world's thinnest woman. Other stories have featured the exploits of the world's fattest couple at the gym, the world's fattest baby, and even a similar weight guessing contest featuring the world's fattest dog. "ALIVE!" One of the other many recurring subjects is the occasional "ALIVE!" cover story. Most often the story pertains to some sort of human or creature, such as a mummy, prehistoric creature and occasionally a human who has been frozen in a block of ice (ex. Santa Claus .) Another subject often tackled by ''WWN'' is the reemergence of many prominent figures formerly thought to be deceased including Marilyn Monroe , John F. Kennedy , and Adolf Hitler . Upcoming Economic Depressions ''WWN'' cover stories often feature claims of the onset of a second Great Depression in the immediate future, in which many prominent celebrities, politicians, and icons of business will become penniless. The cover story of the June 5 , 2005 issue warned that the second Great Depression was "just weeks away." Because of this, Texas Oil Tycoons were planning to flee to Luxembourg , the only country to survive this economic crash. The consequences of this depression would include:
A follow up in the August 15 , 2005 issue reveals plans by China to buy a controlling interest in all of America's banks, effectively buying out the nation's economy. According to the article, China currently owns more than 100 US banks totaling roughly 17 trillion dollars, making them the majority shareholder in America. Religion and Biblical Relics ''Weekly World News'' is often the first to report the findings of biblical relics, including '' Noah's Ark , ''the Garden Of Eden , and the discovery of additional commandments from God. The magazine also claims to have obtained information when Jesus will return to Earth. WWN was also the first to discover a pair of sandals worn by Jesus. Other stories claim that natural disasters such as Earthquake s have opened up gates and portals to Hell from which demons have escaped which are now wreaking havoc upon the earth. A story shortly after September 11th, 2001 showed the face of Satan appearing in a cloud of dust caused by towers collapse. War on Terrorism Since September 11 2001 ''WWN'' has often featured articles exposing plans for possible future terrorist attacks on the United States of America. A 2004 cover story leaked plans by Kim Jong-il to eventually invade and conquer the United States. Other stories have featured profiles on the location and nature of Iraq's Weapons Of Mass Destruction , including the news that Saddam Hussein had an arsenal of giant slingshots and Dinosaurs . In 2003, a series of articles profiled the ongoing relationship, and eventual marriage of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden . Other stories have made claims that Bin Laden is actually a Dwarf , that he has recruited a Cloned Adolf Hitler to join Al Qaeda or that he is in fact dead and that the CIA is keeping it a secret. Since being captured by Batboy, Saddam has been humiliated by female prison guards, won the United States lottery, and even demanded that the government pay for his Sex Change Operation . The April 25 2005 issue of WWN revealed a thwarted attempt by terrorists abducted by Aliens to hijack their UFO and fly it into the White House . The Presidency WWN is often the home to humorous political satire regarding current and past Presidential Administrations. The magazine has made past claims that the founding fathers were all Gay and that George Washington was actually a woman. Abraham Lincoln , according to the paper, was mentally insane and his ghost has also been spotted in the White House giving George W. Bush advice on the War in Iraq. Stories regarding George W. Bush usually capitalize on the public's perception that he lacks intelligence. The paper has chronicled his plans to run for pope, and his intention to nominate Yoda as Secretary of Defense. The paper also reported his secret plans to invade the Moon (which may possibly be ready to explode and destroy Earth) and mine it for the rich oil reserves discovered underneath. The June 21, 2004 issue even revealed the shocking revelation that Dick Cheney is actually a Robot , and that his frequent trips to the hospital are actually to allow him to get his circuits rewired. Aliens Aliens are another subject frequently tackled by ''WWN''. ''Weekly World News'' blames these creatures for holes in the ozone. P'lod P'lod is an alien who has met with every U.S. President since the election of 1980, had an affair with Hillary Clinton , and gave his endorsement to George W. Bush in the 2000 Presidential Election. P'Lod went into a Coma after John Kerry cornered him and bombarded him with his campaign speeches in an attempt to convince him that he should have won the 2004 election. He awoke from his coma in late 2004 after a kiss from Condoleezza Rice . Cryptids Cryptids and half-animal half-Human hybrids are frequently the topic of many issues of ''Weekly World News''. Creatures such as Bigfoot, Merpeople, Real-life Catwomen, Half- Alligator Half-Humans, Frog Babies, Kangaroo Women, and many other creatures have swept the world by storm on various covers. Merpeople The existence of Merpeople is also frequently reported in the pages of the ''Weekly World News''. The most detailed Account from the ''Weekly World News'', recorded a mermaid being caught in a fishing net off of the coast of Florida on April 17 . She was at least half-human, very sociable, and extremely intelligent. The mermaid measured five feet from the tip of her upturned nose to the end of her spiny, translucent tail. Experts which talked with ''WWN'' reporters say she was able to talk in a sophisticated "three dimensional Language " that depends heavily on noises that could possibly be connected to the "click languages" prevalent in parts of Africa and on hand movements that look like Sign Language instructed to deaf people around the globe. A Linguist who had spent several hours with the mermaid at an undisclosed marine study Facility in Florida declared that once they are able to establish Communication , everything known about human Evolution , the specialness of human intelligence, everything thought about Fish - "It's all going out the door". Four government agencies (at least) were involved in the care and study of the mermaid, including the Environmental Protection Agency , the Department Of The Interior ; the U.S. Fish And Wildlife Service and the National Institutes Of Health . An unexpected Discovery , the only definite goals at the point of her capture were:
2003 issue of the ''Weekly World News'']] The location of the Research facilty where the mermaid was being studied was never released to the Public , but some 'sources' have led to an abandoned seafood-processing plant as an assumed location. DNA testing taking shortly after her capture proved that the mermaid's Gene s are split between both humans and fish. More definite, '' Homo Sapiens '' and a Sea Bass species that has been extict for over forty thousand Year s. The Picture s confirm the fishermen's verbal Description — "Up top, the mermaid has human Breast s and Arm s, a pretty Face and long, dark brown Hair . Down below, she looks like any other fish, with silvery-blue Scale s, a sleek, tapered Body and broad, powerful Fin s". U.S. Customs agents labeled the creature "an exotic fish not cleared for importation into the United States ". Within hours of the exotic find, she was airlifted to the unknown marine research facility where the government Scientist s are said to be giving a complete medical check-up to see how closely connected to Man is to the bizarre creature. One expert who spoke "If it can be recognized that humans share a substantial amount of genetic coding with the mermaid, the understanding of our Origin s may change. Instead of looking for missing links between man and Monkey s in the Jungle s of Africa, we'll have to start searching for the Missing Link between humans and fish, and between humans and Merpeople — the mermaids and the Mermen . Since she was so strong, two crewmen had to pin down the mermaid to the Deck by putting their knees on her Shoulder s while a third blew marijuana Smoke in her face to sedate her. She was placed in an aerated Tank that is normally used to keep Lobster s and Bait fish alive, once she calmed down. President George W. Bush took a keen interest in the mermaid and her well-being. He felt so deeply about the mermaid that he ordered two personal chefs to help with the creature's dietary needs. The dishes which he believed would benefit the half-human, half-fish were "two of his favorite comfort foods — Texas Catfish and Hush Puppies with Jalapeño bits. Details were released claiming the mermaid had a hearty Appetite , thoroughly enjoying the Food . In latest reports, she seems happy, broods when she's left alone, and perks up when she sees a human. Similar to their female counterparts, mermen are found within the pages of the ''Weekly World News''. On '' POPULAR CULTURE
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