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Vietnamese pronouns can reveal the social relationship between the speaker and the person being referred to, differences in age, and even the attitude of the speaker toward that person. Thus a speaker must carefully assess these factors to decide the appropriate term. It's not unusual for strangers to ask each other about age when they first meet, in order to establish the proper terms of address to use. KINSHIP TERMS Kinship terms are the most popular ways to refer to oneself and others. Anyone can be referred to using kinship terms, not just people who are related. For example, lovers referring to each other as ''anh'' (elder brother) and ''em'' (younger sibling) sounds incestuous in Western languages, but is perfectly normal (and expected) in Vietnamese. The Vietnamese kinship terms are quite complicated. While there is some flexibility as to which kinship terms should be used for people not related to the speaker, there is often only one term to use for people related by blood or marriage, for up to three generations. Some of the kinship terms are: Kinship terms are "inherited" from parents if it is unclear what to refer to someone. For example, two cousins whose mothers are sisters will call each other using the kinship terms appropriate for siblings: the one whose mother is younger will have a lower rank (''em'') than the one whose mother is older (''chị, anh'') regardless of their ages. Sometimes, old people assume the rank of their children in referring to others (for example, in the case of calling a slightly younger woman ''cô'') . Spouses have equal rank in each respective side. If two people are related to each other in more than one way (for example, by marriage), the rank of the closest relationship is used. This hierarchy might lead to awkward situations where an older person refers to a younger person using a term usually used for older people, such as ''ông''. In Vietnamese there is a proverb: ''Bé bằng củ khoai, cứ vai mà gọi'' (Small as a potato, but call by rank). NON-KINSHIP TERMS USED AS PRONOUNS In Vietnamese, virtually any noun used for a person can be used as a pronoun. These terms usually don't serve multiple roles like kinship terms (i.e. the term has only one grammatical person meaning). Words such as "doctor", "teacher", "owner", etc. can be used as a second-person personal pronoun when necessary. When referring to themselves, Vietnamese speakers, like speakers of Chinese , Japanese , and Korean languages, tend to deprecate their position while elevating the audience. While many of these terms are now obsolete, some remain in widespread usage. The most prominent of these words is ''tôi'', literally meaning "servant". It is used as a fairly neutral term for "I" (not very friendly, nor very formal). ''Tớ'', also meaning "servant", is also popular among young people to refer to themselves with close friends (used in conjunction ''cậu'' for "you"). Pronouns that elevate the audience still in use include ''quý khách'' (valued customer), ''quý vị'' (valued higher being). ''Bạn'' (friend) is also popular among young people to call each other. Vietnamese speakers also refer to people by name where it would be strange if used in English, eliminating the need for personal pronouns altogether. For example, consider the following conversation: :John: ''Mary đang làm gì vậy?'' :Mary: ''Mary đang gọi Joe. John có biết Joe đâu không?'' :John: ''Không, John không biết Joe ở đâu hết.'' Directly translated into English, the conversation would run thus: :John: ''What is Mary doing?'' :Mary: ''Mary is calling Joe. Does John know where Joe is?'' :John: ''No, John doesn't know where Joe is.'' A normal translation of the conversation into English would be: :John: ''What are you doing?'' :Mary: ''I am calling Joe. Do you know where he is?'' :John: ''No, I don't know where he is.'' While always referring to oneself or the audience by name would be considered strange in English, in Vietnamese it is considered friendly, and is the preferred way to converse among close friends (however, in a kinship context, people with a lower rank can not refer to their superiors by name). TRUE PRONOUNS DERIVED PRONOUNS Whereas in English the only first-person plural pronoun is "we", Vietnamese uses two pronouns, depending on the situation. ''Chúng tôi'' is used when the group of people being referred to includes the speaker but not the person being addressed; ''chúng ta'' is used when the person being addressed is also included. Thus, "We thought you went to the store" could be translated "''Chúng tôi tưởng anh {Link without Title} đã đi chợ''," whereas "We need to go to the store" is translated as "''Chúng ta cần đi chợ''." ''Ấy'' is used after a third-person singular pronoun, such as ''anh'' or ''bà'', to distinguish the person being referred to from the person being addressed. So, for example, someone speaking to a man their age about another man their age would use ''anh ấy'', not just ''anh''. OBSOLETE PRONOUNS PAIRS Some pronouns go hand-in-hand with another: when one is used to refer to the speaker, the other must be used to refer to the audience. REFERENCES
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