Omiai

The initiative for these introductions often comes from the parents who may feel that their son or daughter is of a marriageable age, but has shown little or no sign of seeking a partner on their own. Other times, the individual may ask friends or acquaintances to introduce potential mates in a similar way. Parents may enlist the aid of professional Matchmaker s, ''nakōdo'' (Japanese: 仲人) (intermediary or go-between, literally "middle person") who charge a fee to provide pictures and resumes of potential mates who are rich, cultured and/or well-educated. The word "Omiai" is used to describe both the entire process as well as the first meeting between the couple with the matchmaker and often couple's parents present. Omiai's are often carried out in expensive tea shops or hotels with all present dressed in formal attire. Company bosses may also search out mates for single male employees who are about to be sent abroad. Over the next few subsequent dates, the couple will discuss whether they want to get married or not.

Although this custom is sometimes described as " Arranged Marriage ", in its modern form, it is the couple that makes the final decision whether to marry or not. Quite often one side or the other will veto the idea of a union, and the matchmaker will then introduce other prospects. Japanese children seek to take their parents' wishes into account, and may, for example, turn down an attractive prospect if the parents are opposed.

If a union is successfully negotiated, the groom and his parents will pay a visit to the bride's family and present them with a Yuino (Japanese: 結納), a dowry, intended in part to offset the expenses involved in paying for the wedding.

In Japan, there is considerable debate about the relative merits of omiai marriages versus ren'ai marriages (i.e. love matches based on romantic love). The traditional view of love in Japan was volatile, unpredictable unlikely to last, similar in some ways to the view in ''.

''Omiai'' marriages are more common in rural areas of Japan.

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Omiai