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''The New Statesman'' was an award-winning British Sitcom of the 1980s satirising the Conservative government of the time. It was written by Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran at the request of, and as a starring vehicle for, its principal actor, Rik Mayall . Many people consider the show a hybrid of Yes, Minister and another Rik Mayall Sitcom , The Young Ones . The show's opening theme by Alan Hawkshaw uses part of the Promenade from "Pictures At An Exhibition" by Russian composer Modest Mussorgsky . CASTLIST
CHARACTERS The main character was Alan Beresford B'Stard, a selfish, greedy, dishonest, devious, lecherous, sadistic ultra- Right Wing Conservative Back Bencher . It was mostly set in B'stard's antechambers in the House Of Commons and featured Piers Fletcher-Dervish (played by Michael Troughton , son of Patrick Troughton ) as B'Stard's twittish upper-class side-kick. B'Stard was MP for the then fictional constituency of Haltemprice. In 1997, re-drawn boundaries led to the constituency of Boothferry in East Yorkshire being re-named " Haltemprice And Howden ". By an amusing twist of fate, the seat's first incumbent was renowned right-winger David Davis , a Conservative leadership candidate in 2001 and 2005. B'Stard happened to share a middle name with Norman Tebbit although he bore no other similarities to him either. MEMORABLE QUOTES On the future of the NHS: "It used to be very simple; you were poor, you got sick, ''and you died''" AUDIENCE REACTION The sitcom was one of the most critically successful ITV comedy series of its day, and developed a strong following: the audience laughter was so loud and persistent that it apparently caused the show to overrun and the writers had to shorten the scripts to compensate. However, it was also cruel and irreverent, treating all its subjects with black humour and violent slapstick. RETURN In March 2006 Marks and Gran revealed that B'Stard would return in a stage show, having defected to the Labour Party as they are "young, sexy and more right wing than the Tory Party". {Link without Title} The play, called "Project 2006 - The Blair B'Stard Project", is being performed at the New Wimbledon Theatre between 24 and 29 April 2006. EPISODE LIST This is an episode list for the British Sitcom ''The New Statesman''. Series 1 #''Happiness Is A Warm Gun'' (1987-09-13) - Alan is elected MP for Haltemprice as a result of a dirty tricks campaign, deflecting a police investigation by introducing a bill to allow police to carry arms. #''Passport to Freedom'' (1987-09-20) - Sarah (Alan's wife) plans to divorce Alan, while Alan forgets his passport on the way to a conference in Germany. #''Sex is Wrong'' (1987-09-27) - Alan gets involved with an anti-porn lobby campaign after hearing they have a good collection of exhibits. #''Waste Not, Want Not'' (1987-10-04) - Alan is lumbered with an large amount of nuclear waste. #''Friends of St. James'' (1987-10-11) - Alan gets involved with a shady scheme run by an old schoolmate. #''Three Line Whipping'' (1987-10-18) - Alan nearly misses a television interview while at a brothel and attacks a taxi driver. #''Baa Baa Black Sheep'' (1987-10-25) - Alan makes a deal with an American burger company in an effort to provide jobs when the local party thinks about deselecting him. Series 2 #''Fatal Extraction'' (1989-01-15) - Alan puts forward a bill to disenfranchise the working class, in order to allow the Tories to gain control of a left-wing council on which oil has been discovered. #''Live From Westminster'' (1989-01-22) - Alan takes the introduction of TV cameras in the House of Commons as an chance to improve his standing. #''The Wapping Conspiracy'' (1989-01-29) - The press finds out that Alan has become patron of the ''Young Ladies' Recreational Association'' in order to get close to a number of nubile girls. #''The Haltemprice Bunker'' (1989-02-05) - Alan joins a hunt for a Nazi war criminal, in order to put him on a lecture tour (rather than to take him to trial). #''California Here I Come'' (1989-02-12) - Alan goes to Hollywood to cut a deal with a top TV producer but ends up in jail for possession of drugs. #''May The Best Man Win'' (1989-02-19) - Piers plans to get married, his fiancee threatening to take Piers out from Alan's manipulative influence. #''Piers Of The Realm'' (1989-02-26) - Attending a horse race, Alan makes an all-too-rare visit to his constituency. On returning to Westminster, he discovers that Piers is no-longer a mere back-bench MP. Specials ''Comic Relief'' (1989-03). ''Who Shot Alan B'Stard?'' (1990-01-14) - Alan stages an assassination attempt on himself in order to urge the government to bring back Capital Punishment . The plan backfires when he ends up convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Series 3 #''Labour Of Love'' (1991-01-06) - An even more right-wing MP (Victor Crosby) wins a by-election, usurping Alan's place in parliament. #''The Party's Over'' (1991-01-13) - Alan manages the Tories' election campaign. #''Let Them Sniff Cake'' (1991-01-20) - Animal rights campaigners issue death threats against Alan, who is also involved in drug dealing (guest starred John Sessions ). #''Keeping Mum'' (1991-01-27) - Alan supports a bill to reduce social security benefits to pensioners, until his own mother turns up. #''Natural Selection'' (1991-02-04) - A local businessman challenges Alan's place as local Tory MP. #''Profit Of Boom'' (1991-02-11) - Promoting capitalism in the Soviet Union, Alan is arrested after conspiring to assassinate Mikhail Gorbachev and incarcerated in a Siberian Gulag . Series 4 #''Back From The Mort'' (1992-11-22) - Alan is released from the gulag and gets elected as an MEP .
#''Speaking In Tongues'' (1992-12-06) - Alan invents a scheme to make money, using the European Community translators. #''Heil And Farewell'' - Alan tries to take over a neo-Nazi group. #''A Bigger Splash'' (1992-12-20) - Alan tries to make money from a shipment of aid to Bosnia. #''The Irresistible Rise of Alan B'Stard'' (1992-12-26) - Alan tries to get appointed to an important government post, in order to avoid losing his fortune. Special ''A B'Stard Exposed'' (1994-12-30) - Brian Walden interviews Alan about his return to parliament and plans for the future. SEE ALSO
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