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71-HOUR AHMED A Klatch ian warrior who accompanies the Klatchian envoy Prince Khufurah on a diplomatic journey to Ankh-Morpork in the novel '' Jingo ''. He speaks with a heavy accent and has a penchant for chewing on cloves. Following an attempt on the prince's life by an unknown assassin, he is suspected of killing the Watch's prime suspect, provoking Vimes and other Watch members to pursue him back to Klatch. Apart from belonging to a vicious but honorable warrior clan known as the D'reg s, he is later revealed to be a Klatchian equivalent of a watchman on par with Vimes. It also turns out his obsessive clove-chewing and broken Morporkian are in fact a disguise meant to delude foreigners into falsely assuming he is nothing but an uncivilized barbarian. He got his nickname after killing a man (guilty of poisoning a well, killing a number of villagers, and a number of very valuable camels) one hour before the traditional D'reg three days of hospitality, during which even your greatest enemy should be shown respect, would have run out. ANGHAMMARAD Anghammarad is a minor character in the novel '' Going Postal ''. He is a Golem , almost nineteen thousand years old, having been baked by the priests of Upsa in the Third Ning of the Shaving of the Goat. He was also given a voice. However, Upsa was destroyed by the explosion of Mount Shiputu. He then spent two centuries under a mountain of Pumice , before it eroded away. He then became a messenger for the Fisherman Kings of the holy Ult. More recently, he delivered the decrees of King Het of Thut. That is, he delivered them until the land of Thut slid under the sea. He then spent nine thousand years in the deep ocean, before being netted by a fisherman. While having returned to civilization, he still carries the message warning Het that the sea goddess is angry, and hoped to deliver it (golems believe time is cyclical, and Anghammarad thought that if he waited long enough, he'd be able to get it right the second time around). He worked for the Ankh-Morpork Post Office (in the honorary position of Extremely Senior Postman) before being destroyed when the building was burnt down. ACHMED THE MAD Writer of the Necrotelecomnicon , which he wrote after drinking too much Klatchian Coffee . He is also the writer of ''Achmed the I Just Get These Headaches' Book Of Humorous Cat Stories'' (a title which contains the name by which he preferred to be known), which supposedly started his madness. He is a parody of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred , in the Cthulhu mythos of H. P. Lovecraft . DRUM BILLET A wizard who starts the events of '' Equal Rites '' by bequeathing his staff to Eskarina Smith. He is later reincarnated as an apple tree, with fruit that goes "from stomach-turning sourness to wasp-filled rottenness overnight" (see Scumble ). Later in the book he's left the life of a tree for the life of an ant living under Unseen University , though it was more than he could have hoped for. B'HRIAN BLOODAXE The first Low King of the Dwarfs , and a great cultural hero. His life is told in the opera ''Bloodaxe and Ironhammer''. He was the lover of Ironhammer, who forged the Scone of Stone (a reference to the Stone Of Scone , the ancient throne upon which the Kings of Scotland were crowned). Ironhammer killed himself when falsely told of Bloodaxe's death. Bloodaxe was subsequently killed at the Battle Of Koom Valley . Accorging to legend he killed 57 Troll s there, and a loaf of Battle Bread that he supposedly wielded has become a cultural icon and is in the Dwarf Bread Museum in Ankh-Morpork . However, in '' Thud! '' it's revealed that he was trying to ''prevent'' the battle when a flash flood trapped him in a sinkhole. The Battle Bread found next to Bloodaxe's body casts doubt on the authenticity of the A-MDBM loaf, unless of course he carried more than one. Bloodaxe was first mentioned in '' Feet Of Clay '', and his full history was revealed in '' The Fifth Elephant '' and '' Thud! ''. His name is possibly based on '' Brian Bloodaxe '', a Computer Game character from the 1980s. The character is also possibly based on Brian Boru , a 10th century Irish king. BRICK Brick is a young Troll who has a role in '' Thud! ''. He is described as being emaciated by troll standards, and having a texture and pattern to his skin that makes him resemble a brick wall (due to being made of " Metamorphorical Rock " and having been born in Ankh-Morpork). Samuel Vimes , upon seeing him, classified him as the loser's loser. Brick regularly used troll drugs bummed off of the few gutter trolls who didn't run him off when they saw him--and he knew how to make Scrape, a low-class troll drug. Eventually, Sergeant Detritus of the City Watch takes in Brick and seems to unofficially adopt him. Detritus was convinced of Brick's potential after Brick was found still conscious, and, what's more, still ''walking'' after having a few mugs of a potent troll beverage, the name of which translates to Big Hammer. BRUTHA Originally an Omnian novice in the Citadel of Kom, noted only for being a simple boy with an apparently perfect memory. Brutha was the main character in '' Small Gods '', in which he found himself Chosen by the Great God Om , due to being the only person who really believed in him. He went on to become the Eighth Prophet of Om and Cenobiarch of Omnia , and transformed Omnianism into a religion of tolerance and understanding. He died 100 years later, although exactly ''when'' these 100 years occurred is a matter of some confusion. An example of Brutha's memory is given when he says that his earliest memory is that ''"there was a bright light. Then somebody hit me."'' referring to the slap a doctor gives a baby after it is born to make it breathe. Brutha seems to be Terry Pratchett's idea of a genuine Saint . COUNT CASANUNDA A dwarf (though more noticeable than most because of his colossal powdered wig). The moral equivalent of , although, as a dwarf, he obviously stands more "unda" than "ova" his conquests. Second greatest lover may also be a reference to him. IMP Y CELYN A Bard from the decidedly Cymric country of Llamedos . In '' Soul Music '' he was possessed by "Music with Rocks in" and became the Disc's greatest musician under the name Buddy in the Band With Rocks In along with Cliff and Glod, before dying in a cart crash (an admitted reference to Buddy Holly —Imp's name in fact translates as "bud of the holly"). The timeline in which this happened has, however been eradicated following Death's intervention, and he was last seen working in a fried fish stall in Quirm . He looks a bit Elvish. OTTO CHRIEK Otto is one of the "Black Ribboners", vampire " Teetotaller s" who have forsworn drinking human "b-vord". Due to the supernatural nature of their "addiction", Black Ribboners must replace their craving for blood with something else; in Otto's case, he has become obsessed with light and photography. Since very bright light reduces vampires to dust until someone administers a drop of blood, the flash salamander he uses constantly causes Otto problems. He now carries a small vial of blood on a chain around his neck, which smashes and reconstitutes him if his salamander goes off too brightly. Otto experiments with "dark light", the light you find when you go out the other side of darkness, but this has its own unique problems, such as not necessarily illuminating the present to the imp inside his camera (which paints the pictures he takes). Most other people also object to being photographed with it, out of beliefs of it being "Unholy" or simply being uncomfortable with feeling "like your head has been opened up and icicles have been pounded into your brain", as William De Worde puts it. Otto maintains a ridiculous and overly stereotypical vampire appearance (with a few concessions to his art) as opposed to the downplaying of these aspects that most Black Ribboners go for. By ensuring people find him funny, he is sure they do not find him threatening. CHRYSOPHRASE Chrysophrase is the local Godfather of the Breccia troll Organised Crime family and owns the troll hotel known as the Gritz and the Cavern nightclub. He is more obviously at home in Ankh-Morpork than most trolls; his features are deliberately polished smooth, and he wears a suit, rather than the usual loincloth and lichen. His understanding of civilised behaviour is that violence is barbaric, but paying other people to do it is business. He also wears diamond jewelery, apparently made from the teeth of trolls who moved against him. He considers himself a fine example of a troll achieving great success in a foreign culture and is the head of the Silicon Anti-Defamation League, which seeks to raise the issue of discrimination against trolls by humans and dwarfs in Ankh-Morpork. He is first mentioned in '' Wyrd Sisters '' (as "Chrystoprase"), and appears in '' Soul Music '' and '' Thud! '' '' The Light Fantastic '' briefly features a troll called Krysoprase, who may or may not be the same character. CONINA The daughter of Cohen The Barbarian and a temple dancer. From her mother she inherited gold-tinged skin, white-blond hair, a voice that can make "Good morning" sound like an invitation to bed, and a very good figure. From her father, she inherited sinews you could moor a ship to, muscles as solid as a plank, and reflexes like a snake on a hot tin roof (from relevant pieces of description in '' Sourcery ''). She also acquired from Cohen suitable heroic instincts (that is, strong urges to fight, kill, and steal) and an ability to use ''anything'' as a deadly weapon. These traits rather get in the way of the profession she really wants to have--hairdressing. SACHARISSA CRIPSLOCK The daughter of an engraver (who possibly appeared in '' Maskerade '', working for Goatberger) she became a reporter for the ''Ankh-Morpork Times'', having originally arrived at the print works to complain about the invention of Moveable Type . Appears in '' The Truth '' and '' Going Postal ''. In the latter work she is married, presumably to William de Worde, although she still addresses herself as ''Miss'' Cripslock. THE DEAN OF PENTACLES ("THE DEAN") A member of the Unseen University staff. An incredibly obese man who is generally found in his study reading a Grimoire or in the great hall eating. His job at UU as he describes it is sit around, sleep and eat incredibly big dinners. He also attends some of the functions that are held by guilds or clubs around the city on behalf of the University and partakes in other people's big dinners. The Dean first appeared in Sourcery as a student or postgraduate. He was promoted after the kafuffle had died down. His major appearance was in The Last Continent while journeying with Ridcully and several of the other wizards. One of the Dean's more interesting characteristics is his susceptibility to whatever occult or semi-magical occurrence is happening--most notably in Soul Music . The Dean enjoys himself immensely when he gets to use high-powered destructive spells. During times like that, he tends to say "Hut" and "Yo!" frequently. DIOS High priest of Djelibeybi ; largely responsible for its creation, its culture and its religion, not to mention its hundreds of pyramids. Rendered immortal by the pyramid in which he sleeps, Dios remained for hundreds of generations the self-appointed guardian of the traditions and values of his country, most of which he invented. He performed the rituals and rites to the gods so many times that, come their alotted hour, his mind would automatically go through them even if physically doing so was imposible. He believed he may be 7000 years old, though by the end of '' Pyramids '' his unhappy fate reveals he is actually far older than that, if indeed he could be said to have an age at all. It also raises the question of whether it was indeed Dios who created the pyramids, or the other way around. LORD DOWNEY The current head of the Assassin's Guild . He succeeded Dr. Cruces after his death; before that he was his deputy. He is a kindly looking, distinguished old gentleman with white hair, eminently professional and seemingly unflappable. Certain evidence suggests, however, that he is not quite as intelligent or in-control as he thinks himself. He was at school with Havelock Vetinari , where he was a bully and something of an imbecile, with a propensity for calling everyone scags, including Vetinari, whom he also referred to as dog-botherer. Allegedly, Lord Downey's preferred method of inhumation is poisoning, though no deaths have yet to be attributed to him. Pratchett suggests this is probably due to the fact that he is very good at his job. His special recipe for Humbug s, submitted to Nanny Ogg , calls for "arsenic to taste", though, since arsenic is actually very traceable, this is likely a slight bit of misinformation on his part. One current tradition he maintains is inviting certain students to his office for tea. Given the nature of most Assassins' Guild traditions, this could be seen as a kind of impromptu "pass or fail" examination. CARCER DUN The villain of '' Night Watch ''. Described by Vimes as "a stone-cold killer. With brains." A Psychopathic killer, who seems to believe that nothing he does is really wrong (" 'Who? Me? What did I do?' "), but seems to be able to control his impulses sometimes ("There was one thing about Carcer. He wouldn't shoot you in the back if he thought there was reasonable chance of cutting your throat later."). Enjoys letting people's imaginations work (" 'I can see your house from up here!' "), and seems to feed on that moment of dawning comprehension when someone realizes what's coming. Carcer has many of Vimes's qualities, only in reverse--for example, a belief of how useful brass knuckles and blackjacks and coshes can be, and a decided lack of fighting fair. Carcer's last name was shown in a preview of ''Night Watch'', but never revealed in the final version. DRUMKNOTT Secretary to Patrician Vetinari of Ankh-Morpork, following the death of Lupine Wonse. First appears in '' Men At Arms ''. Commonly seen entering and leaving the presence of the Patrician bearing either paperwork or verbal information on the activities of other denizens of the city, or the Discworld in general, Drumknott seems not to think much about the political implications of the information he works with, believing in filing for its own sake. During '' The Truth '' he was seemingly attacked by the Patrician, and by the time of '' Going Postal '' was responsible for relaying the orders of the Patrician in assigning tasks to other clerks. PRINCESS ESMERELDA MARGARET NOTE SPELLING OF LANCRE Daughter of King Verence II and Magrat Garlick , Princess Esme made her appearance in '' Carpe Jugulum ''. Her unusual middle names are the result of a Lancre tradition that whatever the priest says at the naming ceremony is your name (Thus, Lancre once had a King My-God-He's-Heavy 1). Magrat owed her own name to a combination of this tradition and her mother's inability to spell "Margaret", and was determined it wouldn't happen again. J.H.C. GOATBERGER Publisher in Ankh-Morpork . Books published by his company include ''The Joy of Snacks'' by A Lancre Witch and the ''Ankh-Morpork Almanack''. He appears in '' Maskerade '' and is referred to in some of the "peripheral" ''Discworld'' books that are meant to be books from the Disc (e.g. '' Nanny Ogg's Cookbook ''). His name is a play on Johann Gutenberg . TOLLIVER GROAT One of the two remaining employees of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office prior to Moist Von Lipwig being made Postmaster. A very old man in a cheap wig, Groat had spent most of his career in the post office as a Junior Postman, since until von Lipwig's arrival none of the other Postmasters appointed by Lord Vetinari had survived long enough to promote him. Groat doesn't trust doctors, which is perfectly understandable since there are very few reliable doctors in Ankh-Morpork . However, he instead treats himself with a variety of dubious "natural" home remedies, including concotions made with Sulfur or Arsenic , and a poultice made of bread pudding. He is a habitual speaker of the only known Rhyming Slang in the universe that does not actually rhyme. STANLEY HOWLER One of the two remaining employees of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office prior to Moist Von Lipwig being made Postmaster. Raised by Pea s (no further explanation is given), Stanley has a tendency towards obsessive behaviour. He used to be one of the more obsessive of Ankh-Mopork's large number of Pin collectors, to the point that all the other collectors though he was "a bit weird about pins". However, following the events of '' Going Postal '', in which the destruction of his collection coincided with the invention of the Postage Stamp , he redirected his obsession to Stamp Collecting and Philately . Stanley's surname was not revealed in the book, but is given in various peripheral material relating to Discworld stamps. It is a play on Stanley Gibbons . HODGESAARGH Castle Falconer at Lancre , ''Hodgesaargh'' is not his actual name, but some misunderstanding has been caused due to his birds' habit of attacking him when people speak to him. i.e. "Hello, my name is Hodges...ARRRRRGH" His ceremonial outfit of red and gold with a big floppy hat is usually supplemented with about three Sticking Plasters . One of the birds he breeds and trains is the ''wowhawk'', or Lappet-faced Worrier, which is like a Goshawk only more so - it prefers to walk everywhere and hates the sight of blood. Hodgesaargh is based on a real-life keeper of . He is also the author of ''The Arts of Falconrie and Hawking''. PRINCESS KELI Daughter of King Olerve the Bastard of the Sto Plains kingdom of Sto Lat, and the last person between the Duke of Sto Helit and the throne, she was saved from assassination by Mort . Became Queen Kelirihenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig. Queen Keli still ruled at the time of '' Soul Music '', when she ejected the Band With Rocks In from the city by royal proclamation. Sto Lat still had a queen by the time of '' Going Postal '', though she isn't mentioned by name. If it is her, she would be the first person on the Disc other than the Patrician to have her face on a Stamp . LAVEOLOUS The Discworld equivalent of Odysseus . He was the finest military mind on the continent of Klatch . His genius consisted of realising that, if there has to be a war, the aim should be to defeat the enemy as quickly and with as little bloodshed as possible - a concept so breathtaking in its originality that few other military minds have been able to grasp it, and it shows what happens when you take the conduct of a war away from skilled soldiers. He was a hero of the Tsortean Wars, which he ended by bribing a cleaner to show him a secret passage into the citadel of Tsort . It is possible that he is the ancestor of Rincewind . DOCTOR LAWN Dr John "Mossy" Lawn is a doctor in Ankh-Morpork. He first appeared in '' Night Watch '', as a backstreet "pox doctor", offering medical assistance to "seamstresses". He had trained in Klatch , where he had learnt techniques other Morporkian surgeons distrusted, but which kept patients alive for longer than it took to pay the bill. He also gave free treatment to those who needed it, including those who had been tortured by the Cable Street Particulars. He is a quiet but sarcastic man, and almost unshockable. Following his successful delivery of Sam Junior, Samuel Vimes gave him a large area of land in the Goosegate area of the city. In '' Going Postal '' this is the Lady Sybil Free Hospital. Dr Lawn's preferred method of dealing with the nursing staff is to throw a handful of chocolates in one direction and run in the other as fast as possible. LEZEK A farmer in Sheepridge, in the Ramtops . The Father of the title character in '' Mort ''. Reportedly dead by the time of '' Soul Music '' (by one who should know). MOIST VON LIPWIG A former conman, now Ankh-Morpork 's Postmaster General. The main character in '' Going Postal ''. He was invited to take up his new position of his own free will by the Patrician (the offered alternatives being hanging or suicide, again of his own free will), and managed to revive the Post Office by applying the principles of the con to honest work. He wears a golden suit with a wingèd cap when on duty, and, without it, looks like someone you wouldn't really notice. He is in something approaching a relationship with Adora Belle Dearheart. As of January, 2006, he is set to star in the forthcoming novel '' Making Money ''. THE MAGPYR FAMILY A family of Vampires who attempted to invade Lancre in '' Carpe Jugulum ''. They all Parody Vampirism in different ways:
It is implied that older members of the family were closer to Vampire s in the original legends. As befits a family of their status and condition, they are served by an Igor (who frequently feels put upon by the less traditional Magpyrs). MODO A Dwarf , he is the gardener at Unseen University . He is a conscientious gardener, but its location on the campus of a major magical faculty means that his handiwork has a tendency to be disrupted by supernatural events. Modo believes in compost in much the same way that humans believe in gods (dwarves aren't religious, exactly). It is unknown what he puts in his compost but it certainly brings up the roses. His personal theory is that they want to get as far away from the compost as possible. His compost also, for one brief moment in Reaper Man , came alive, and it took a whole bottle of Wow-Wow Sauce to stop it. MORT Mort, short for Mortimer, is not like the other boys; for a start he is inclined to take statements Literal ly and sees things as they really are. Having proved himself unworthy as a Scarecrow he is chosen by Death to be his Apprentice . Mort is described as being very tall and skinny, with muscles like knots in string. He has a shock of bright red hair, and looks as if he is made entirely of knees. Mort starts off at the bottom, learning to accept his position while Mucking Out the Stable s, and trying to ignore Ysabell , Death's Adopted daughter. When Death feels in need of a break, Mort takes over ''The Duty''. Unfortunately for Mort, his feelings for a Teenage Princess get in the way of his job and he starts off a chain reaction of events. Reluctant to tell his master he tries various methods to fix the situation, including the appointment of a Wizard to help people recognise the queen. Mort eventually leaves Death's service and marries Ysabell. The couple are given the title of Duke and Duchess of Sto Helit, and later become parents, of Susan Sto Helit . Mort is the title character in '' Mort ''. In the Cosgrove Hall Animation of '' Soul Music '', Mort is voiced by Neil Morrissey . In 2004 BBC Radio 4 adapted ''Mort'', with the title character voiced by Carl Prekopp . Mort appears in '' The Light Fantastic '' very briefly, and is not seen. NIJEL THE DESTROYER Nijel the Destroyer, son of Harebut the JASON OGG Eldest son of , a Unicorn , and (at regular intervals and with specially reserved metal) Death 's horse Binky . He is also the leader of the Lancre Morris Men, who treat Morris Dancing as something between a contact sport and a martial art. He also knows the Horseman's Word, a secret to pacifying belligerent stallions he has to shoe (though as Granny Weatherwax discovered, the "Horseman's Word" involves threats to apply a large hammer with great force to certain parts of the stallion's anatomy). SHAWN OGG Youngest son of Nanny Ogg . First appears in '' Wyrd Sisters '' as a guard at Lancre Castle. Since then he has become Lancre's entire standing army (except when he's laying down), as well as the civil service and most of the palace staff. According to '' Nanny Ogg's Cookbook '' he has been granted the Order of the Lancrastian Empire. POLLY PERKS The main character in '' Monstrous Regiment ''. A Borogravia n girl, of 17, who joined the army under the name Oliver Perks to rescue her brother Paul and save her family's inn. She chose her false name, Oliver, because it corresponded with the folksong, Sweet Polly Oliver, which is about a girl running off to join the army. As a member of the Cheesemongers, Private 'Ozzer' Perks serves with the colorful Sgt Jackrum, a reformed vampire of ambiguos gender named Maladict, a troll called Carborundum, an Igor , and a few even stranger people, who are, in fact, just humans. MR. PIN Mr. Pin (other names unknown) is a villain in the Discworld novel The Truth . He is the brains of the New Firm, his name for the criminal group consisting of himself and Mr. Tulip . In general Mr. Pin makes the plans and decides where they're going to go and what they're going to do, but he is open to suggestions from his partner. Both men can become violent, but Mr. Tulip has a seemingly unlimited supply of it, which was one of the main characteristics that attracted him to Mr. Pin as a partner in crime. WALTER PLINGE The odd-job man at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House. Plinge was an awkward, nervy figure in a beret, extremely similar to Frank Spencer , from the BBC sitcom '' Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em ''. However he had a Secret Identity as the suave and sophisticated "Opera Ghost" (i.e. The Phantom Of The Opera ). (This is a play on the fact that Spencer was played by Michael Crawford , who went on to play the Phantom in the Andrew Lloyd-Webber musical.) Convinced by Agnes Nitt that he was wearing his mask on the inside, he became the director of music, following the death of Salzella . He writes popular operas with tunes you can hum. His name is a reference to the Theatrical Pseudonym . WENDLE POONS Windle Poons was a wizard at the Unseen University until the age of 130, whereupon he died and unwillingly became one of the Undead , due to Death 's absence. After his 'death', his senses are quite enhanced from their 130-year-old state although his appearance is somewhat unsettling, mostly from a failed attempt at preventing rotting via an advanced form of biofeedback (basically, controlling the reactions of your organs voluntarily). After numerous attempts to take his own life...or after-life...he joined a band of undead misfits and eventually helped to defend the city of Ankh-Morpork against the additional lifeforce on the Discworld . Before ''Reaper Man'', Windle Poons appeared in one other ''Discworld'' novel, '' Moving Pictures ''. His physical and mental state then could be described as ''"invalid, deaf, wandering of mind and hot on the ladies behinds in his wheelchair"''. Like most of the University staff, he has also made an appearance in the ''Discworld'' computer games, mainly voicing a paranoid fear of having his staff taken away and, when engaged in conversation, constantly returning to the subject of Pickles . PTEPPIC King Pteppicymon XXVIII of Djelibeybi (lit. "Child of the Djel", the Disc's version of Egypt ) is the main character in '' Pyramids ''. The first king to leave the kingdom, he was trained at the Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild . He passed his final exam by a fluke, having already decided he wasn't going to kill anyone. His cosmopolitan nature clashed with the hidebound traditions of the kingdom and the even more hidebound high priest Dios, and after saving Djelibeybi from destruction and shaking up its traditions, he abdicated. PTRACI Queen Ptraci I of Djelibeybi. Pteppic's half-sister and successor. A former handmaiden, the Djelibeybian priests thought she would be easy to control. They turned out to be very wrong. Like her half-brother she is keen to get in some decent plumbing. Appears in '' Pyramids ''; by the end of the novel she is enthusiastically embracing many of the stranger regimens, such as bathing in ass's milk, favoured by Cleopatra . PUMP 19 A Golem who appeared in '' Going Postal ''. More commonly referred to as Mr. Pump, he received his name from his previous position, where he spent over two hundred years operating one of a series of underwater pumps. He has since entered the employ of the Patrician , who uses him as a parole officer. He has been extremely successful in this, as he can follow his target ''anywhere'' by tracking their Karmic signature, and golems never need to stop, or rest, or eat: as the Patrician put it "Four miles an hour - that's 672 miles a week . . ." QUOTH A talking Raven . He is seemingly an associate of the Death Of Rats . His name derives from the famous line in the poem by the poet Edgar Allan Poe , The Raven ("Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'.") except this raven "doesn't do the N word". He got his name because his previous owner, a wizard, had no sense of humour. At times he acts as steed and interpreter for the Death of Rats and he has a constant craving for eyeballs- a species characteristic (which, he recalls, resulted in an unfortunate end to ravens working under Blind Io , the king of the Discworld Gods, who has innumerable floating eyeballs which float around his head...quite tempting for a raven). He was originally one of the ravens from the Tower Of Art . He was first seen in the ''Discworld'' novel '' Soul Music '', and since then has made appearances in all novels involving Susan Sto Helit . LORD RUST An Ankh-Morpork nobleman, whose full name is presumably Ronald (Ronnie) Rust. He first appears in '' Men At Arms '', in which he is one of the nobles who doesn't take D'Eath seriously. In this novel he seems to have keen political instincts; it is stated that the Rusts have survived by not being romantic. Lord Rust makes more sizeable appearances in '' Jingo '' and '' Night Watch '', wherein he appears overly-bred and arrogant; a brief subsequent appearance in '' Monstrous Regiment '' suggests he still has some of the intelligence of his earlier portrayal. Lord Rust's most defining characteristic, along with his arrogance, is his unsurpassed military and strategic incompetence (or, at least, his ability to achieve goals only by simultaneously sustaining devastating losses), coupled with the inexplicable ability to be repeatedly chosen to command large armies and similar organisations. MR. SALZELLA The Director of Music at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House in '' Maskerade '', most notable for an absolute hatred of opera (although he was really as "infected" with operatic romanticism as everyone else in the place). He was embezzling money and murdering people who found out, blaming the murders on the Opera Ghost . He was finally killed in an extremely operatic battle with the Ghost. While the character is seemingly based loosely on Ambrose D'Arcy from the 1962 fashion. ELLA SATURDAY The daughter of Baron Saturday of Genua and Mrs Erzulie Gogol . She appears in '' Witches Abroad '' as an attactive young woman with brown skin and blonde hair. Seemingly her entire life has been controlled by her Fairy Godmother , Lady Lilith De Tempscire , to ensure that she marries Lady Lilith's pawn, the Duc (actually a Frog ). She spends much of her time in the palace kitchens, apparently because she enjoys being helpful, rather than because she is mistreated. Because she helps lay the fires, the palace cook nicknamed her "Embers" (she is, of course, the Discworld version of Cinderella , although the full nickname "Emberella", while never explicity written, is referred to as sounding "like Something you'd put up in the rain"). At the end of ''Witches Abroad'', she became the Baroness of Genua. THE SELACHII FAMILY A noble family in Ankh-Morpork , featured in several of the books. They are known for being Assassins , and are traditional rivals of the Venturi. They are named after the Selachimorpha as a play on the Sharks in '' West Side Story '' "ESK" ESKARINA SMITH The main character in '' Equal Rites '', where she became the Unseen University 's first (and only) female graduate. Esk was last seen inventing a new kind of magic based on not using it at all, in the company of ''wunderkind'' wizard Simon. Although she was the pivotal character in '' Equal Rites '', she has never been seen or mentioned again. THE SMOKING GNU A trio of Clacks Hacker s, so far seen only in '' Going Postal '', consisting of "Mad Al, Sane Alex, and Adrian who says he's not mad but can't prove it." They are instrumental in pulling the Grand Trunk Company out from under Reacher Gilt. Their name is a reference to talk of a "smoking gun" in some conspiracy theories, and as such they parallel The Lone Gunmen from The X-Files . Also likely to be related to the open-source " GNU " operating systems, also popular amongst modern-day hackers. WALLACE SONKY An Ankh-Morpork tradesman, owner of ''Sonky's Rubber Goods'', and maker of ''Sonky's Preventatives'' (a type of Condom ). His "sonkies", as they are generally known, sell for a penny a packet. Without them, the housing problem in Ankh-Morpork would be even more pressing. He is killed in '' The Fifth Elephant ''. He is known to have had a brother in Überwald . WILLIAM SCUGGINS When Samuel Vimes was in his youth, William Scuggins was the child that was always tormented. He was mentioned briefly in '' Feet Of Clay '' with the following description of how he was treated: ''He'd been pretty good at {Link without Title} . Of course, they played it by the Ankh-Morpork rules. Instead of kicking a stone they kicked William Scuggins.'' FINDTHEE SWING Captain Findthee Swing is the head of the Unmentionables in the Ankh-Morpork of the past in Night Watch . He is described as a thin, balding man dressed in a long, old-fashioned black coat with large pockets, and supports himself on an opera cane (which is in reality a Swordstick ). He always carries with him a large set of calipers and a steel ruler, with which he measures the facial characteristics of people he meets in order to determine their personal traits (See Physiognomy ). He moves and speaks in anerratic, jumpy fashion, in bursts... and sputters ratherthan a continuous flowof movement or sound. He is killed by Vimes during the fire at the Unmentionables' headquarters. The name Captain Swing has long been associated with civil unrest, being the pseudonym of the (possibly mythical) leader of the Swing Riots . GENERAL TACTICUS General Tacticus was a soldier of the Ankh-Morpork Empire proclaimed to be the greatest general of all time. In fact, on the Discworld the word 'tactics' was derived from his name. Though he is dead at the time of the events contained in the series, his legacy lives on. He is an amalgamation of various historic characters, including . Much of the advice in the autobiography reflects Sun Tzu 's '' The Art Of War '', as well as comments made by Patton. Tacticus conquered a large area of the Discworld, both around the base city of Ankh-Morpork and well into the southern continent of Klatch . At one point, the far-flung city of Genua , having run out of royalty of their own, asked Ankh-Morpork for a Duke. Tacticus was made a Duke and sent there. Immediately upon becoming a Genuan citizen, he evaluated the military threats posed by other nations, and declared war on Ankh-Morpork. When Vimes got a copy of Tacticus' autobiography from the Librarian, he formulated a very Vimes-like opinion as to why history did not particularly like Tacticus (because he didn't get a huge number of his men killed out of his own arrogance and incompetence). Snippets of Tacticus advice turns up in various Discworld chronicles, and it can be gathered that he was a very realistic general (The section of his autobiography entitled "What to Do When One Army Occupies a Well-Fortified and Superior Ground and the Other Does Not" begins with the sentence "Endeavour to be the one inside.") TAWNEEE Tawneee (pronounced with each " E " as a separate syllable) is an Exotic Dancer , introduced in '' Thud! '' Tawneee is, in fact, merely her stage name; her real name is Betty. She is Nobby Nobbs 's girlfriend for most of the book; they met when Nobby caught her eye while slipping an IOU into her garter belt. Despite her profession, she is as humble as a caterpillar, and has about as much brains. She was completely innocent about Sex , and was completely unaware that her job could be considered "acting like a floozy"; in the end, Angua and Sally explain the facts of, well, ''everything''. Meanwhile, Nobby considers letting her down gently because she didn't know her way around a kitchen. MR. TULIP Mr. Tulip (other names unknown) is a character who features in the novel The Truth . Mr Tulip is something of a contradiction, at once a remorseless killer and an art lover. He is differentiated from a common criminal by his habit of removing priceless works of art from houses before committing arson, and he recognises great art works all over Ankh Morpork, being an instinctive connoisseur of the arts. He also suffers a mild speech impediment, causing him to often insert "-ing" mid-sentence. One major problem with Mr. Tulip is not that he has a drugs habit as such, but that he ''wants'' to have a drug habit, having a tendency to desire anything sold in little bags. Unfortunately for this desire, in a city where on any street any number of Discworld drugs are available, he would unerringly find the one man who was selling oven cleaner or calcium carbonate. His primary skill in the New Firm (himself and Mr. Pin ) is his literally unlimited supply of anger. He has in fact turned mindless violence into an art form. He is the sidekick of Mr. Pin, and though an instinctive killer, recognises Mr. Pin's cognitive skills, and leaves the thinking to him. Unlike Mr Pin, he has the possibility of redemption, and so at the end of the novel he is re-incarnated as a woodworm: the only woodworm to say 'this is -ing good wood!' THE VENTURI FAMILY A noble family in Ankh-Morpork , featured in several of the books. They are traditional rivals of the Selachii. They are named after the Venturi , as a play on the Jets in '' West Side Story ''. VINCENT THE INVULNERABLE Committed "suicide" (by Ankh-Morpork 's extremely lax standards, i.e. "walking alone in the Shades at night is suicide, asking for a short in a Dwarf bar is suicide") by walking into the Mended Drum and announcing that he was called "Vincent the Invulnerable." VORBIS In '' Small Gods '', Deacon Vorbis is the head of the Quisition , and later (for a very brief time) the Cenobiarch of Omnia . He's a frightening Character , Bald by Design , with completely Dark Eyes . Vorbis' Character combines a Strange mix of apparently Religious Mania with a fervent Desire to spread the Word / Empire across all the Disc. The Character of Vorbis is one that may interest any reader interested in questions regarding Institutional Religion , Heresy , and the direct Communication between God and Man . Vorbis has a Reputation for being a Man touched by Destiny (and perhaps something else) and as being one of the most Devout Omnians in the Empire ('Vorbis could Humble himself in Prayer in a way that made the posturings of power-mad Emperors look subservient') yet in the end the reader finds that the only voice Vorbis has been listening to is his own. The Vorbis audio codec is named after this character. GALDER WEATHERWAX Cousin of Granny Weatherwax , Galder is the Chancellor in '' The Light Fantastic '', and a real Wizard traditionalist. In '' The Light Fantastic '', he is referred to as Chancellor, but Ridcully upgrades him to Archchancellor in '' Lords And Ladies '' when he chats to Granny Weatherwax. LY TIN WHEEDLE Ly is arguably the greatest philosopher on the Disc, although he is usually the one arguing for this. He comes from the Counterweight Continent , home of Rincewind 's friend Twoflower . In his home country he is regarded as a great sage because of his peculiar smell, and his many sayings advocating respect for the old and the virtues of poverty are frequently quoted by the rich and elderly. He is first mentioned in '' The Colour Of Magic ''. He has made many, many profound statements, such as "Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set fire to him and he will be warm for the rest of his life ." He has also theorized on a means of faster-than-light transmission of information based on royal succession. This theory is based on the traditional demand that there can only be one king, with no gap between kings. The succession, he claims, must be carried out instantly by a fundamental particle known as a kingon (or possibly queon), unless it is struck in flight by an anti-particle, or republicon. The means of communication he proposed to take advantage of this, by means of carefully torturing a small king, was never fully explained because at that point, the bar closed. LUPINE WONSE Former childhood friend to Samuel Vimes and later secretary to Lord Vetinari . As the Grand Master of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night, he summoned a Dragon intending it to be killed by a king, whom he would then control. This failed and he found himself personal assistant to the Dragon King. Following a confrontation with the City Watch , he was killed by a metaphor, or possibly the ground, after then-Constable Carrot Ironfoundersson literally "threw the book at him" and send him stumbling over a ledge. WILLIAM DE WORDE A professional scribe who in '' The Truth '' became the editor of the Disc's first newspaper, ''The Ankh-Morpork Times''. He has an obsessive dislike of lying, which he has learned to work around in the name of Journalism . In self-imposed exile from his background of wealthy noblehood, William works hard (and with varying degrees of success) to cast off the influence of his father, Lord de Worde, an arrogant racist and speciesist bully. William also appears in '' Monstrous Regiment '', reporting on the war in Borogravia , and is mentioned in ''Thud''. His name is probably a play on the first two Printers in England; William Caxton and Wynkyn De Worde . YSABELL Ysabell is the adopted daughter of Death , who saved her as a baby when her parents were killed in the Great Nef desert (no explanation has been given as to why he did this). When first encountered in the '' Discworld '' books, she is a sixteen-year-old girl with silver hair and silver eyes who, it transpires, has been sixteen for around thirty years (no time passes in Death's Domain ). When Mort first encountered Ysabell, he was given the impression of "too many chocolates". She also has a fixation for the colour Pink . Ysabell has also met Rincewind , and was surprised to learn that he was not actually dead. This situation might not have lasted very long if The Luggage had not intervened. During the events of '' Mort '' it became clear that Ysabell was competent in carrying out the work of her father including ''The Duty'' and ''doing the nodes''. Before Mort arrived she shared her home with Albert , Death's manservant. Ysabell later married Mort, and together they became the Duke and Duchess of Sto Helit , and parents of Susan . She was killed, along with her husband, in a coach crash at the start of the book Soul Music . SEE ALSO |
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