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Mind Of Mencia




The first season ran from July 6 , 2005 to September 28 , 2005 . The show is among Comedy Central's lineup, despite criticism that it has appropriated the format of the highly successful '' Chappelle's Show ''. This is parodied by the first opening sketch, which had Mariachi players performing against a white background, a la the ''Chappelle's Show'' opening. The first season of ''Mind of Mencia'' was released on DVD on March 21 , 2006 to coincide with the premiere of the second season on March 22 , 2006 . The format is rather different, showing more of a Dennis Miller -type show.

Despite the fact that he was born in Honduras and his name is actually Ned Holness, on the show ''Mind of Mencia'' Carlos Mencia often refers to himself with terms more commonly used to describe Mexican Americans , and often those terms are derogatory terms. An example of this can be found in the recent skit called "Wetback Mountain" wherein Mencia performed with Mexican American actor Mario Lopez in a parody of Brokeback Mountain . At the end of the skit, it was revealed that the two men did not form a bond based on a Homosexual orientation but based on their Mexican American heritage. In this skit, both men refer to themselves as " Beaner s" and " Wetbacks ."


QUOTES


  • (Pulling on the fat on his chin) That's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream!!!

  • "When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping."

  • "If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby."

  • 'Achmed'- Well why don't you check the Hispanics, is it because you're Hispanic?

  • Carlos- No, it's because Hispanics don't blow sh---t, they clean it up and build it up after you blow it up!

  • "Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay' (ése)"

  • "When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers"

  • "Now I admit I like Gold Digger , but Kanye West is a crazy nigga"



From Mariachi Mencia

  • Hey, how about a song for you two. (Sings) A friend with a penis is not really you're friend, they say that they are but it's all pretend, every time you call, he really listens to ya, but deep down inside, he just wants to bone ya!


  • Hey barkeep, how about Dos Tequila s por favor, both for the senorita.


  • Barkeep: And if that doesn't work, I got me some Tissues and a whole lot of Vaseline


  • (Sings) Three dollar tip ACHMED KISS MY ASS, You charge more for a Gallon of GAS !



From Store Clerk Carlos

  • Great soul of Gandhi , cover your ears. You will not want to hear this!

  • Listen you inbred piece of ku klux crap!

  • You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona.

  • I Hope I am Reincarnated as toothpaste, so that I may never see you again. So take your Wife beating Juice and get the park out of my store!


  • Oh Vishnu I am about to go against all of your teachings,PLEASE FORGIVE ME! If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him.

  • I know there is a skinny person inside every fat one, but it looks like you have the whole cast of '' America's Next Top Model '' inside of there.

  • I hope I am reincarnated as your feet, so that you'll never see me again! I apologize, I must apologize, in my religion Cows are sacred, So take my cheese and your magazine and get the park out of my store!


  • Oh Rama , Here I go again! Listen to you, sounding like Death Vader

  • You people need cigarettes as much as this country needs a C-average president.

  • Here are your cigarettes, and here is some gum so you can blow bubbles for that WEIRD A---S HOLE YOU HAVE IN YOUR NECK. And here are some batteries, for your creeping-me-out machine. Now get the Park out of my store!

  • I hope I am reincarnated as a Turtleneck ... Thank you for getting that joke!



  • WM: Fifty lottery tickets, please.

  • M: Aren't you the woman with 12 kids?

  • WM: Yes

  • M: What do you feed them, the losing lottery tickets?

  • WM: Callate la boca mamon, just give me the lottery tickets.

  • M: Lord Krishna , Please forgive me for I know what I am about to say. You are never going to win the lottery, you have about as much chance as getting Knocked-Up by Ryan Seacrest , however you have enough kids. Why don't you take your $50 dollars for a Vagina cork. I hope I am reincarnated as a Condom so that I'll never see you again, now take your lottory tickets, and get the park out of my store, Yes I know Spanish too, puta!



  • Robber: Give me the money. Open the register, move!

  • Mencia: You better think twice about robbing me, because you are on camera my friend.

  • Robber: No I sprayed it.

  • Mencia: No dumbass. Men don't wear dee dots. This is a camera my friend (pointing to his forehead). You are on DOT CAM.

  • (Mencia takes out gun with laser and points it at robber's forehead) OH. NOW YOU HAVE A DOT JUST LIKE ME. LET US PLAY A GAME. WE ARE GOING QUAIL HUNTING. I AM THE VICE PRESIDENT, AND YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. NOW GET THE PARK OUT OF MY STORE, DO IT, DO IT NOW!



From Judge Carlos

A family is suing Seaworld because they found their 27 year old son, dead and naked, in Shamu 's pen. Look if you're 27 and you're still living at home with your mom and dad you ought to just 86 yourself right then and there. (The lawsuit also contends that the gifts at the gift shop don't show the nature of these vicious animals) Yeah I'm sure the name " KILLER WHALE " doesn't mean he'll swallow you whole. If someone said there were some killer Mexicans living next to you you wouldn't want to hang out with them. "But Judge Carlos, I thought Shamu loves everybody." He does FOR DINNER. Can I get an Amen, what do you say "Ghost of Johnny Cochran "

"Ghost Of Johnny Cochran": If you swim with the fishes, you be dead sumbitches.

Judge Carlos Rules in favor of Sea World and orders the records to be sealed. Because I don't even want to ''THINK'' about what he was doing in Shamu's pen. The Whale probably killed him in Self Defense.
HEY! (With a finger over his lips sounding Aquatic) NO MEANS NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A guy is suing his ex girlfriend because during Sex , his girlfriend broke his Penis . Can We see the evidence? (Shows a photo of a guy with a cast over his private parts.)

Ghost of Johnny Cochran: Ooh Snapped his cap.

He says he can no longer enjoy a normal sex life. Look Dumb Ass , you had a great sex life, you had a girl who knew how to get her freak on! And you should know, your Jimmy bends to a certain degree before you have to reposition yourself. What do ya say Ghost of Johnny Cochran?

Ghost of Johnny Cochran: If ya chick snaps ya (Bleep) it just ain't that thick.

That's right, can I get an Amen? Judge Carlos rules in favor of the hot piece of ass who broke him in two and I order him to hand over the girl's name and Phone number.

A Quadriplegic is suing a Strip Club because it is not accessable to him. (Sighs) This is a guy that's having a bad life. He's the perfect customer all he can do is drink and get Lap Dances , Hell he's nothing but a lap! What do you say Ghost of Johnny Cochran?

Ghost of Johnny Cochrain: Be nice to the Cripple Show him some Nipple .

Damn right, Judge Carlos rules in favor of the four wheeling horn dog, CAN A CRIPPLE GET A LAP DANCE!


From Confucious Carlos


(Young woman)

Confucious Carlos as a vegetarian I believe that all of god's creatures are sacred, what can we do to stop people from eating poor defenseless animals?

(Carlos, sounding like mix of Elmer Fudd , Bruce Lee and Asian wiseman)

Ahh yes, meat! Meat has protein, protein makes testosterone, testosterone makes guys want to bang you! So do you really want guys to stop eating meat? Unless you are 'softball player', I suggest you go home and make your man a big fat steak for dinner so he'll have some of your ''pie'' for dessert. Confucious Carlos Has spoken.

(Asian weakling)

Woman is only vegetarian, because she has never tasted any of my meat. Do you have question for Confucious Carlos.

(White man wearing mountain gear)

Nope, I'm on my way up to the top of Mount Everest.

(Carlos)

Well I have question for you, why do white guys do crazy shit like climb a mountain? You will go to the top of the mountain, you will go to the moon, you will go to the North Pole to meet a polar bear, but you will not go to Compton for a barbeque for fear of the "Black People"? Confucious Carlos Has spoken.

(Asian weakling)

He who has time to climb a mountain must also be world's oldest virgin!

(Teenager holding a joint)

Confucious Carlos, all these big corporations are raping and murdering the earth, is there any way to stop them?

(Carlos)

You reefer smoking retards all claim top hate big business, but the first thing you do when you get so stoned you don't even know what day of the year it is is rent movies from Blockbuster , order pizza from Domino's , drink Budweiser and play the Playstation from SONY . If you really want to help the earth, you must kill yourselves 'Doobie Hauser M.Dee-Dee-Dee'. Confucious Carlos has spoken.

Silence, I must meditate, ohmmmm, ohmmmmmmm, ohmmMMY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE HUGE TITS!

(Young woman with very large breasts)

That's exactly the reason I came here Confusious Carlos, everyone seems to be more interested in my breasts, I just want to be taken seriously.

(Carlos, breaking character)

Look, bitch, the only reason you got them implants was to get attention from guys, so congratulations, you got an return on your investment. If you want me to listen to you, you better say something more interesting than those two Midgets on your chest.

(Returns to Character)
Confucious Carlos has spoken.


ON HURRICANE KATRINA

  • "I'm not an evil person, I'm not an evil person. I feel very bad for the people in New Orléans like the sick people, the poor people, the elderly, those people couldn't get out. But let's talk about the dumbasses who are still there but the ones who are going 'I'm not gonna leave! I'm not gonna leave! Because I'm going to stay here and protect my TV!' Listen, you fucking idiot: unless you have a plasma that got wet by this much water I suggest you get the fuck out of your house right now, you understand me?"

  • Mexico sent 39 trucks filled with Mexican soldiers to help out the cause. Now, first of all, they said it was 39 trucks and 180 soldiers. I'm a Beaner , and I'm telling you white people, that's a bullsh---t number right off the bat! There's at least a thousand beaners there right now!

  • It's got so bad, Mexico sent us help!



CRITICISM

Many of the television community criticize this show for its simple humor, the fact that Mencia does a signature "dee dee dee" (though he makes it sound somewhat like 'derr-de-derr') in the vain of an 'invalid' (which, by his definition, is someone who is not mentaly disabled, but rather so lacking in common sense that they should be considered disabled) cements much of his humor style. As well as the fact of him, in attempting to be revolutionary or controversial in his comedy on many topics, particularly racism, gravitates on expressing his views more so than his comedic aspects in turn weakening the comedy elements while the political, racial, or other current topics are not fully covered to denote much interest.


TRIVIA


  • Carlos' brother, Joseph Mencia, who is not an actor, appears in many episodes.

  • Of season one's 13 episodes, Joseph appeared in all except for four: episode numbers 101, and 105-107.

  • Joseph has appeared in the first four episodes of season two.

  • In reality, Joseph is actually Carlos' cousin, but both were raised together; hence Carlos referring him as a brother rather than a cousin.

  • Joseph appeared in an episode as a Pallattas (ice cream) bike driver.



EXTERNAL LINKS