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Series 1 (1988) Series 2 (1988) Series 3 (1989) #''Backwards'' - While Cat and Lister are busy ogling Wilma Flintstone, Rimmer escorts the newly-repaired Kryten on his driving test in Starbug 1, during which Kryten pilots the ship into a time hole, and they emerge on a planet where the universe has begun contracting towards a Big Crunch and time itself runs backwards. They crash-land on the planet Htrae in the year 3991. Lister and Cat follow them in Starbug 2 and, upon seeing a sign for Nodnol, are convinced they have landed somewhere in Bulgaria. #''Marooned'' - Holly orders the evacuation of the ship as Red Dwarf is approaching not one, but five black holes. Lister and Rimmer head one way in Starbug, while Kryten and the Cat go the other in Blue Midget, to rendezvous with Holly and Red Dwarf on the other side. However, Starbug is hit by an asteroid and crashes on an ice planet, with little food and hardly any firewood. #''Polymorph'' - Holly detects a non-human life-form aboard ship. The crew are skeptical (the last time this happened, it was one of Lister's socks), but for once she is right. A genetic mutant that can change its shape into anything, be it animal, vegetable or mineral has invaded Red Dwarf, and it begins to feed on the emotions of the crew. #''Bodyswap'' - A Skutter malfunctions and runs amok, resulting in the inadvertent activation of the ship's self-destruct system. As the auto-destruct can only be over-ridden by a senior officer, Kryten performs a mind-swap, and the mind of Executive Officer Carol Brown is temporarily placed into Lister's body. After the crisis is resolved, Rimmer convinces Lister to swap bodies with him: he will be able to enjoy the benefits of having a tangible body again for a couple of weeks, while he exercises and gets Lister back into shape. However, he is unable to resist the pleasures he has been denied for so long. #''Timeslides'' - Kryten discovers that a mutating batch of photographic developing fluid produces photographs that are windows to the past, and slide projections that one can step into (albeit only within the confines of the photo). After visiting Frank Rimmer's wedding and one of Adolf Hitler's speeches, Lister goes back in time and changes history by giving his seventeen-year-old self an invention that will make him a billionaire. In the new history, Rimmer is left alone with Holly, but only until he has the idea of going further back in time and giving the invention to himself first. (guest starring Koo Stark as Sabrina Mulholland-Jjones, Jeffrey Walker and Bill Steer of Grindcore band Carcass as Smeg and the Heads members Dobbin (Steer) and Gaz (Walker).) #''The Last Day'' - A message pod reaches Lister from Diva-Droid International, manufacturers of Kryten and the 4000 series of mechanoids. It announces that Kryten is outdated and should shut himself down, as his replacement is on the way, and Kryten resigns himself to his fate. Lister decides to throw a last-day party for Kryten, and waking up the following morning with a hangover, Kryten finds that he has had fun for the first time, and decides not to go quietly after all. Series 4 (1991) #''Camille'' - Lister begins to try and break Kryten's programming in order to make him able to lie, cheat and be insulting. Kryten then takes Rimmer asteroid-spotting in Starbug, and when they receive a distress call from a doomed ship Lister's insubordination training allows him to go and search for survivors despite Rimmer's order to keep a safe distance away. He finds Camille, who appears to him to be a female 4000 GTi mechanoid ''"You’ve got all those little extras like realistic toes and a slide back sun-roof head!"'', and the two fall instantly in love. When all four crew members see different people, and all fall in love, the truth outs: she is a Pleasure GELF, designed to be everyone's perfect mate. She reverts to her real appearance (a big green blob), but Kryten still takes her out on a date. The relationship is put in jeopardy when Camille's partner Hector arrives. Kryten convinces Camille to be with her partner, then laments that Lister taught him how to lie so effectively. #''DNA'' - Red Dwarf encounters a drifting spacecraft and the crew investigate, finding a DNA modifier. The Cat fiddles with it and manages to change Lister into a chicken, then a hamster, and back to human. Then, Kryten is caught in the DNA modifier and he becomes human. Life as a human, though, is less interesting to Kryten than aspiring to be human ("I have located what I presume to be the recharging socket, but for some strange reason it doesn't appear to have the standard three- pin adaption. Now, do I have to use some kind of special adaptor? Because no matter what I do, the lead just keeps falling out") and he returns to his mechanoid state, after Lister kills the Mutton Vindaloo Beast (Curry Monster) with Leopard Lager. #''Justice'' - While Lister is down with a bout of space mumps, Red Dwarf picks up an escape pod from a prison ship that was transporting dangerous criminals to their final trial, sentence and incarceration on Justice World. The crew head to Justice World themselves in Starbug, in case the pod contains one of the prisoners, but the Justice Computer puts a spanner in the works when it convicts Rimmer on 1,167 counts of second-degree murder, a consequence of his faulty drive-plate repair that killed the crew of the JMC vessel Red Dwarf. Kryten proves to the Judge that Rimmer's immense guilt stems from his own self-loathing and incompetence, and he is found not guilty. However, a psychopathic droid is released from the pod that initiated their trip to Justice World, and tries to hunt them down. He is defeated after a unique trait to Justice World is exploited, namely that anyone who tries to perpetrate a crime on someone else has the effect put on them (i.e. Attempting to hurt another person results in you feeling the pain instead). #''White Hole'' - Holly's condition has degenerated to the point where she cannot count without banging her head on her screen. Kryten develops an intelligence-compression technique that could restore Holly's IQ of 6,000 at the expense of some run-time. The technique works too well, leaving her with an IQ of more than 12,000 but a lifespan of three minutes. She shuts herself down and leaves the ship on emergency backup systems. As if that is not bad enough, Red Dwarf is running into a White Hole , and will be destroyed unless they can plug the hole. Holly is switched back on and quickly concocts an audacious plan that involves playing pool with planets. Lister makes the trick shot and time reverses, returning Holly to her previous state. #''Dimension Jump'' - In a parallel universe, dashing and heroic test pilot Arnold J. 'Ace' Rimmer pilots a ship equipped with the new Wildfire drive, which will exceed the speed of reality and propel him into a different dimension. He arrives in the Red Dwarf universe, where Rimmer is naturally extremely jealous of this 'better' version of himself, and Ace eventually decides to leave, but not before revealing to Lister the 'break' that he got in his life that Rimmer missed out on. The break, in fact, was that Ace Rimmer did not have any advantage and thus forced himself to buckle down and work harder to be better, where Arnold Rimmer continued to make excuses throughout his life. #''Meltdown'' - Kryten discovers a matter transporter in the research lab, which Holly informs them will home in on any atmosphere-bearing planet within 500,000 light years. The crew are sent 200,000 light-years to Wax-World, a Wax-Droid theme park that has been abandoned for millions of years, during which time the droids have broken their programming and now the inhabitants of Villain World are waging war against Hero World. Rimmer sets himself up as commander of the Hero World droids (a motley crew led by Elvis Presley , Albert Einstein , Stan Laurel and Father Christmas ), seeing this as his chance to pit his tactical wits against the greatest military minds of the past, while the Cat and Lister are captured by Adolf Hitler ("They're tying someone to the stake... It's Winnie-the-Pooh !"). Rimmer 'saves' the day when he sacrifices all the Hero World droids in an assault on the Villains, but manages to assassinate the leaders and all the other villain droids by turning up the temperature and melting them. (This episode, along with Dimension Jump, was released later than the original date due to the first Gulf War.) Series 5 (1992) #''Holoship'' - Rimmer suddenly disappears from Red Dwarf and re-materialises on the holo-ship ''Enlightenment'', a ship made out of light and crewed entirely by holograms who can eat, drink, touch, feel and taste anything on the ship, as light can touch light. The crew is also required to have sex at least twice a day for its own sanity and Rimmer takes advantage of this with Commander Nirvanah Crane. They begin to fall in love, but the ship is crewed by the hologramatic cream of the Space Corps and the only way to gain a place on the ship is to defeat one of its crew in an intelligence test. Rimmer decides that as he has a 96% chance of failure, the only option left open to him is to cheat like the bastard that he is, but he does not know that in the challenge, he will compete against Nirvanah. Nirvanah finds out how much it means for Rimmer to join the crew and sacrifices herself for him. Going against his earlier statement that career would come before love, Rimmer resigns his new commission and returns to the Red Dwarf, so that Nirvanah can live again on the "Enlightenment." (guest starring Jane Horrocks as Nirvanah Crane.) #''The Inquisitor'' - Starbug is captured by a being called the Inquisitor and returned to Red Dwarf. The Inquisitor is a self-repairing simulant who survived until the end of time and, realising that there is no god and no afterlife, decided that the only point of life was to make something of yourself. He is on a journey through time, seeking out the worthless and removing them, allowing a different person to exist in their place, what would have happened if a different sperm met a different egg. Kryten and Lister prove to be unworthy and are sentenced to time erasure, but with some time-jumping manoeuvres, manage to defeat the Inquisitor and cause him to erase himself from time. #''Terrorform'' - Rimmer and Kryten have a rather nasty accident while moon-hopping: Kryten is left in pieces among the wreckage of Starbug and Rimmer is gone. When Lister and the Cat arrive, they find themselves on a Psi-Moon, a planetoid which terraforms itself to match the psyche of anyone who lands on it. The psi-moon takes on the formation of Rimmer's psyche and he is subsequently captured by his Inner Demons and set to be sacrificed to the manifestation of his Self-Loathing. The crew rescues him, and themselves, by boosting Rimmer's self-esteem to overcome his doubts and fears. #''Quarantine'' - Red Dwarf receives a distress call from the hologram Dr. Hildegarde Landstrom. Landstrom had been working on a theory that viruses can be negative or positive and had isolated several positive viruses, including ones that grant whoever contracts it extreme good luck. However, when the crew (minus Rimmer) arrive at Landstrom's lab she proves to have contracted a holo-virus that causes her to become insane. She passes this virus on to Rimmer before dying, resulting in Rimmer imprisoning his shipmates in quarantine (in compliance with Space Corps Directive 595) and then appearing before them, completely mad, clad in a red-and-white checked gingham dress and army boots and with Mr. Flibble, a penguin hand puppet. Lister, Cat, and Kryten defeat the insane Rimmer and then sentence him to just punishment, which is to be locked in quarantine with only the three of them, dressed in the red-and-white gingham dress, to entertain him. #''Demons and Angels'' - Kryten has a new invention, derived from the Matter Paddle, which he hopes will solve any supply problems that might arise on Red Dwarf, called a triplicator. It can create two copies of anything placed within its field. The machine soon develops several flaws. Firstly, the copies have a lifespan of exactly one hour. Secondly, while one copy is infinitely superior to its original, the other is infinitely worse. Finally, when Kryten reverses the procedure, Red Dwarf explodes. The crew escape and find out that the field was reversed and two copies of Red Dwarf, and her crew, were replicated. The 'high' copy has all the peace and love personalities of the crew and assist them in every way. However, the 'low' ship, which holds the other half of the triplicator needed to restore Red Dwarf as she was, is crewed by deranged, perverted, psychopaths. Most interesting of these is a fishnet-clad, eye-liner wearing, pierce-faced Rimmer, who promises to 'have' Lister after he is done torturing him. #''Back to Reality'' - The crew are in Starbug on a recon mission to an ocean planet when they discover the wreckage of the SSS ''Esperanto'', which conducted a marine seeding experiment. It appears that all life on board committed suicide, right down to a haddock which closed its gills and suffocated itself. The crew is attacked by a giant squid and Starbug crashes and it is game over. The crew awakes, having just spent four years playing the total-immersion video game Red Dwarf, and they prepare to return to reality which is a frightening totalitarian world. It is down to Holly to snap the crew out of it before they follow the crew of the ''Esperanto'' and commit suicide. This episode marks the first appearance of "Dwayne Dibley," Cat's non-cool alter-ego. Series 6 (1993) #''Psirens'' - Lister comes out of Deep Sleep (a less-efficient version of stasis) aboard Starbug. Kryten brings him up to speed on the situation: Red Dwarf was lost 200 years ago and he has been chasing the ship alone and upgrading Starbug for long-term habitation. There is a chance of recovering Red Dwarf at last by heading through an asteroid belt that Red Dwarf is forced to circumnavigate. However, the belt turns out to be a spaceship graveyard inhabited by psirens, shape-changing GELFs who lure unwary travellers to them and suck out their brains through a straw. Cat is almost lured away by two attracive women and Lister sees Kristine Kochanski (who tells him that she has two children, Jim and Bexley, that are his). Starbug crashes and Lister has to blast the front landing gear out, but is tricked twice while on the surface: once by an attractive woman, then by a psiren masquerading as Kryten. Two Listers manage to get on board, however. It is determined who the wrong Lister is by asking them to play guitar, which Lister does poorly but the psiren does extremely well. Lister is suitably upset by their accusations that he is a poor guitar player, though. #''Legion'' - Starbug is 24 hours behind Red Dwarf and is losing ground on the larger ship. They are distracted when a heat-seeking 'missile' locks onto them and tractors them to a space station inhabited only by a being called Legion, who proves his good faith by converting Rimmer from soft light to hard light (making him able to touch and feel) and performing an emergency Appendicectomy on Lister. Unknown to them, Legion is in fact a Gestalt Entity , made up of the personalities of those on the space station with him and must keep the crew on the station with him forever if he is to maintain his existence. Kryten saves the crew by rendering the other members unconscious, thus forcing Leigon to take on only his personality, which is programmed to assist humans whenever possible. Legion helps put the crew back on Starbug, then comments on the relief it will be to not share in the neurosis of the crew. #''Gunmen of the Apocalypse'' - Starbug has strayed into a Simulant hunting zone and is detected by a battle-cruiser whose xenophobic occupants despise humanity. By a fluke the Red Dwarf crew cripples the Simulant ship, but before it is destroyed it transmits an Armageddon virus into Starbug's Navi-Comp, leaving the ship locked on a suicide course straight towards a large moon. Kryten contracts the virus himself in order to try and formulate an antidote and the crew uses an Artificial Reality machine to enter Kryten's Wild West-flavoured dreams of his battle with the virus as the Sheriff of Existence against the four Apocalypse Boys: Famine, Pestilence, War, and Death. The Apocalypse boys render Lister, Cat, and Rimmer powerless, but it buys Kryten enough time to develop an anti-virus and release it against the Apocolypse boys and the virus infecting the ship. #''Emohawk - Polymorph II'' - Starbug is approached by a computerised Space Corps Enforcement Vessel which accuses the crew of looting derelict spaceships (a crime of which they are completely and totally guilty) and sentences them to death under frontier law. They escape into a GELF zone but crash-land on a moon inhabited by the Kinitawowi tribe where Lister is forced to marry the chief's daughter in return for an Oxy-Generator Unit to repair the ship. Lister escapes from his new bride as the others are leaving with the O/G unit and they make their escape in Starbug but they are trailed by the chief's pet emohawk, a domesticated polymorph, which begins stealing the crew's emotions. The Cat loses his cool and morphs into Duane Dibbley, while Rimmer loses his cowardice and becomes Ace Rimmer. After a failed attempt to snap Duane Dibbley's neck and vent Starbug to get rid of the polymorph (thereby sacrificing himself), Lister and the crew manage to capture the polymorph and freeze it. This allows them to extract the DNA of Cat and Rimmer to return them to normal. #''Rimmerworld'' - Rimmer is suffering from stress and Kryten prescribes several measures for him to prevent an electronic aneurysm. Meanwhile, the crew decides to replenish supplies by looting the Simulant ship they shot down a few weeks ago (''Gunmen of the Apocalypse''). One of the Simulants has survived and confronts Lister, Kryten and the Cat. Rimmer, however, sneaks into an escape pod and runs away which causes the destruction of the ship. His pod subsequently heads straight for the closest S3 planet, on the other side of a wormhole, and when it arrives Rimmer decides to use the terraforming equipment to create a paradise. He also manages to clone himself, hoping for female company but instead begins an entire new race of Rimmer-clones. When his shipmates arrive in Starbug a time dilation effect means that for Rimmer 600 years have passed. They arrive on Rimmerworld only to be promptly captured and imprisoned by power-hungry Rimmer-clones, who consider anything un-Rimmer like to be a crime (i.e. charm, bravery, intelligence). The crew teleport out of the cell and escape with Starbug. #''Out of Time'' - Red Dwarf is completely lost. The crew enters a region of space populated by unreality pockets, a security measure around a top-secret Space Corps test ship. Kryten places the crew in Deep Sleep and conducts his own looting mission and Starbug escapes with a time-drive. They are subsequently contacted by another Starbug, populated by their future selves, who explain that their own time-drive is malfunctioning and request to be allowed to copy parts from the present-day time-drive. Lister refuses after seeing what the future crew has become, and they launch an attack on Starbug: they would rather die than be denied their self-indulgent lifestyle. Rimmer shows uncharacteristic bravery by suggesting they fight, stating "Better dead than smeg." The episode ends with Lister, Cat, and Kryten all dying from explosions in the cockpit and Rimmer blowing up the time-drive. The final scene is of Starbug exploding and the promise "to be continued." Series 7 (1997) #''Tikka to Ride'' - Unable to function without a good curry, Lister tampers with Kryten so he will help him to go back to Earth with the time-drive and place a large takeaway order. Their calculations are a little off and they find themselves at Dallas , Texas in November 1963 . Within minutes they have altered the future for the worse and now they are going to have to hatch a plot that is going to drive the conspiracy theorists crazy. #''Stoke Me A Clipper...'' - Ace Rimmer arrives from another dimension badly injured and reveals to Rimmer the secret of Ace - the fact that Rimmers from countless dimensions have all taken the reins to be everybody's favourite hero. Now Ace must train Rimmer to succeed him and keep the legend going. #'' Ouroboros '' - The crew of Starbug come across a rift between Dimensions and meet their counterparts from another reality; only this time Kochanski was in stasis and Lister is the hologram. The rift breaks and Kristine is trapped with our crew; and although Lister does not mind, Kryten goes into jealousy override determined to get her back to her own dimension. Lister finally uncovers his parents' identities. #''Duct Soup'' - An engine failure leaves the crew trapped in Lister's quarters and they must navigate the tiny duct labyrinth to get to restart the engines before they crash. Lister starts to suffer from Claustrophobia and explains how he got it while Kochanski tells how her Dave was gay. #''Blue'' - Lister finds himself missing Rimmer so much he starts dreaming about him. Kryten takes matters into his own hands by creating virtual ride, '' The Rimmer Experience '', based on Rimmer's diaries, providing Lister with a permanent cure. #''Beyond a Joke'' - Kochanski, fed up with the puerile activities of this crew, decides to educate them on the finer points of Etiquette by introducing them to a virtual reality rendition of '' Pride And Prejudice ''. Kryten's jealousy gets out of hand, first by blowing up the rest of the crew with a T-72 , then by blowing his own head after Lister suggested brown ketch-up with lobster. #''Epideme'' - Lister gets infected with an intelligent virus and promptly fails to convince it not to kill him. Kochanski has a solution that is better than death, but comes at a high price. #''Nanarchy'' - In an attempt to get Lister a new limb Kryten tracks down his missing Nanobot s, only to find they are in Lister's laundry basket and they have got an old friend with them. Series 8 (1999) #''Back In The Red - Part 1'' - Red Dwarf has been recreated, crew and all - and Captain Hollister promptly arrests Lister, Cat, Kochanski, and Kryten, not believing their story about three million years having passed. The crew also includes Rimmer, as he used to be, who Lister bribes to help him out, giving Rimmer access to the crew's confidential files. Rimmer also finds Dr. Landstrom's luck and sexual magnetism viruses (''Quarantine'') in the wreckage of Starbug. #''Back In The Red - Part 2'' - Rimmer has access to the crew's files and he wastes no time in putting them to use (along with the sexual magnetism virus). Lister, Kryten, Kochanski and Cat face the board of inquiry for the first time and agree to the usage of psychotrophic drugs. #''Back In The Red - Part 3'' - The accused make their escape from Red Dwarf thanks to the luck virus and the Cat's ability to make Blue Midget dance. However, they are really hallucinating under the influence of the drugs and are hooked up to an AR machine. Rimmer is worried: if Lister says anything about their agreement, he could be in trouble, so he sneaks into the AR suite to alter it. However, the accused are tipped off that they are in AR by Rimmer's tamperings and manage to escape using the safety trap-doors built into the program. They confront Rimmer and convince him to escape with them. #''Cassandra'' - Rimmer, Lister, Kryten, Kochanski, the Cat and Holly are all imprisoned in the Tank for two years for misuse of confidential files and due to a misunderstanding are also signed up for "the Canaries", a group of expendables who go first into dangerous situations. (The joke in the show is that the group name is an acronym, standing for: Convict Army, Nearly All Retarded, Inbred, Evil, Sheepshaggers) Their first mission is aboard the wreck of the SSS ''Silverberg'', a prison ship for its computer, Cassandra, who can predict the future with 100% accuracy. (guest starring from Greek Mythology )'' #''Krytie TV'' - After Kryten reveals he showers with the female inmates (having been classed as a woman when he arrived on Red Dwarf due to his lack of external - or indeed any - genitals), he is knocked out and reprogrammed by the less scrupulous members of the Tank and duly starts up his own pay-TV venture, Krytie TV, and the star of its first show, 'Women's Shower Night', is none other than Kristine Kochanski. Meanwhile, Lister gets his guitar back, minus strings and in the same post is notification of an appeal against his circumstances which if successful will apply to all other prisoners in his situation. #''Pete - Part 1'' - Rimmer and Lister are not having a good time, frequently in and out of the captain's office for various offences, each of which annoy Hollister more and more until he snaps and has them thrown in the Hole, a sparse prison cell inhabited only by an insane Welshman called Birdman and his pet canary, Pete. Meanwhile, the others return from a Canary mission with a time wand, a device that can manipulate time, and when the time wand meets Pete the consequences are not good. #''Pete - Part 2'' - The gang decide to follow Rimmer's lead and run away from Pete, now de-evolved into a Tyrannosaurus Rex , but he manages to eat the time wand. Meanwhile, Kryten's penis Archie (which he has made himself in an effort to be reclassified as a man) escapes and he is prevented from chasing it when the Canaries are detailed to stop Pete after his deadly rampage through the supply decks. #''Only The Good...'' - The gang have been good recently and have got probation. Rimmer is waiting on Captain Hollister after an unfortunate incident with a baby dinosaur, his confining himself to the Hole for a year, and his recent contraction of yellow fever. Meanwhile, Red Dwarf is infected by a chameleonic microbe and the ship is evacuated, except for the inmates of the Tank. Lost episodes #''Identity within...'' - This episode was going to be in series 7 but was replaced by Duct Soup. A reconstructed version of the episode, performed by Chris Barrie (who does all the voices), appears on the series 7 DVD release. The Cat is ill and it's fatal but there is one way to cure it. He has to have Sex to live. They then have to go to a GELF village were a female cat called Aura is being held prisoner for auction. Lister, Rimmer and Kryten have to save Aura and get her to fall in love with the Cat before he dies from being a Virgin . The episode was not produced due to the high cost of creating a whole village of GELFs. A script of this episode was auctioned for charity at a Red Dwarf convention in Melbourne, Australia before season 7 aired there. Other appearances #''Can't Smeg Won't Smeg'' - The Red Dwarf Crew (Lister, Rimmer, the Cat, Duane Dibbley, Kryten, and Kochanski) appear in an episode of the TV show Can't Cook, Won't Cook to celebrate the 10th anniversary for the show to be on the air. Lister and Kryten are on the red team and Rimmer and the Cat are on the blue team. Cat decides not to be on a team with Rimmer and leaves. A few moments later, Duane Dibbley makes his appearance in the waste disposal unit and fills the place of Cat for the rest of the show. Kochanski is the taste tester and has to decide which team wins the contest. The host chef is Ainsley Harriott (Before becoming a celebrity chef, Harriott was a comedian who played the role of the GELF elder in Emohawk - Polymorph II.) #''Universe Challenge'' - The cast compete with fans of the show in a University Challenge -style quiz based on the show, also for the 10th anniversary of the show. The show features Bamber Gascoigne , the presenter of University Challenge until 1994. The fans won the quiz. |
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