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Gareth Keenan




Gareth Keenan is a .

Keenan flaunts his ''team leader'' status despite deskmate Tim Canterbury pointing out that it's a meaningless job title entailing more responsibility at the same pay scale, he takes it quite seriously. Howerver, his attempts to throw around his inflated sense of authority rarely work. Canterbury plays endless Prank s on Keenan such as hiding his computer, putting his stapler in Jelly and pretending he is gay by encouraging him to discuss warfare with metaphors that could be misinterpreted.

Wherever possible, Keenan points out how his military skills might come in useful in an office environment, such as how to kill a man with a single blow. Despite his experience in the Territorial Army, however, he exhibits a petty, selfish nature and looks physically weak. Keenan enjoys kung-fu movies and he drives a Triumph TR3 which he bought for £1,200 and restored. The vehicle is now believed (by Gareth) to be worth in the region of £3000.

Following Brent's departure, Keenan is made regional manager of the branch, although he still seems to command as little respect as ever - Canterbury's latest prank is to lock his boss in his office and take the keys, requiring a desperate phone call to the receptionist's desk for Keenan to get anyone to grant his release. It's one of many pranks reprised in the American Version of ''The Office'' and played on Keenan's counterpart, Dwight Schrute .

On the social side, Keenan enjoys some success with women he meets, often in the local nightclub 'Chasers' that he attends with co-workers. He has several close friends, 'Jimmy the Perv' (who lives up to his name by repeatedly paying Dawn Tinsley £1 for kisses for Comic Relief), 'The Ogmonster' (a very tall figure with astigmatism) and 'Fish Fingers'. Keenan refers to his friends as his 'crew', a possible suggestion that they too were in the Territorial Army.


MEMORABLE QUOTES

  • "I once told him I don't like jelly. I don't trust the way it moves."

  • "Will there ever be a boy born that can swim faster than a shark?" - a question that Gareth likes to ponder.

  • "If people were rude to me, I used to give them their milk last so it was warm." - cited to Canterbury as proof by Keenan that people do respect the milk monitor at school

  • "That's one of the arguments against letting homosexuals into the army. Will they be looking at the enemy, or will they be looking at me, going "Oooooh, he looks tasty in his uniform?" - Gareth explaining why homosexuals should not be allowed in the army

  • Gareth: "Get his wife to help."
    '''Tim''': "He doesn't have a wife."
    Gareth: "All farmers have wives."
    '''Tim''': "Not this one, he's gay."
    Gareth: "Well, then he shouldn't be allowed near animals should he?" - over complicating a problem-solving puzzle involving a farmer who has to get a fox, a chicken, and a bag of grain across a river.



SEE ALSO

Comparing The Two Versions


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