| Ballyroan(dublin) |
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Information AboutBallyroan(dublin) |
| CATEGORIES ABOUT BALLYROAN, COUNTY DUBLIN | |
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It is a suburban area at the foot of the Dublin mountains alongside Ballyboden and Knocklyon . It's a quiet area with a large elderly population, and few young families thanks to extremely high house prices. Situated around the church and the shopping centre (including the Ballyroan Library), it contains two highly notable schools Sancta Maria College and Coláiste Éanna . Padraig Harrington , an international golf player was born and raised there. ''A Typical Ballyroan Family'' The Battlefield of Elkwood and the skirmishes at Ballyroan Lodge 1993-1999 The area has historically been subjected to terrifying invasions by marauding factions of primitive peoples from disadvantaged neighbouring areas such as Knocklyon. An unholy alliance exists between Knocklyon and the so called National (sic) Whitechurch Army. The origins of this truce can be traced back to the desire of parents from those areas who had grown up with little education or prospects, that their children should enjoy the greater advantages of posh schools such as Colaiste Eanna and Scoil an Spioraid Naomh. The influx of unruly and feeble minded mobs from these areas was borne with the good natured tolerance that is characteristic of the decent upbringing enjoyed by children from Ballyroan. This is despite the inevitable damage that such a close association would have on their own reputation and prospects. Alas the darker side of human nature was often revealed in the jealous and malevolent behaviour exhibited by the poorer children of Knocklyon and Whitechurch towards their betters in Ballyroan. Mental and tactical inferiority combined with weakness from malnourishment necessitated an alliance between these two groups if they were to have any chance against the superior foe. Their situation was often so dire that they were reduced to stealing lunch money from the infants in Saint Patricks and employing mercenaries from Talafornia who required busfare and batter burgers from Roma. These events have recently been examined by eminent sociologist Des Bishop in a series of lectures throughout the Country. Partition and a possible resolution Territorial disputes exist regarding Knocklyon Drive and the lands of Templeroan ''(pron. Temple-Ruin)''. The Housing stock and inhabitants of Knocklyon Drive were deemed to be of too low quality to enjoy recognition as being part of Ballyroan. For a long time this abomination had been regarded as an eyesore and an enclave or ghetto of Knocklyoners within Ballyroan. This area was ceded unopposed and in it's entirety to the stewardship of Knocklyon Residents Committee in the 1980's. Templeruin The latter remains unresolved as this is the most affluent neighbourhood in Knocklyon. This is demonstrated by the scale of houses, some of which are almost the equal of those found in Ballyroan. An active residents' committee and an air of relative respectability from its' inhabitants are traits specific to progressive societies who wish to improve their situation, although the civic authorities have not yet deemed them suitable for an upgrade to the status of Dublin 14. Templeruin and it's links to organised crime The Annual Boundary Commission of 2005 gave a more favourable response to their application since the closure of laneways from Knockcullen had the effect of reducing crime in Ballyroan Heights. The commisioners do not dispute the proximity of Templeroan to Ballyroan House or the repeated endeavours of its' citizens to improve themselves and their surroundings through educational programs consisting of language skills, cultural awareness and personal hygiene. The people of Ballyroan themselves remain divided on the issue, many desiring no contact with their unrespectable neighbours. This attitude was denounced by radical cleric Father Power as unchristian. He protested continuously on behalf of former Ballyroaners who had grown up and could not afford houses in their Birthplace and others who had fallen on hard times and were forced by economic circumstances to relocate to Knocklyon. He argued that Ballyroan must embrace them regardless as they could only be redeemed by continued contact with civilisation. This turbulent decade witnessed the construction of defensive walls in Templeroan and Security Fences and Gates in Sancta Maria that were locked each evening and guarded by regular patrols of concerned parents. The Defenders of a beleagured Community Radical elements such as the "Children of the Dawn" led by the enigmatic folk hero Pablo Colgenius were active in raids and reprisals against Knocklyon in response to vicious incursions and the downright insubordination by insolent youths. This group was inextricably linked to the short lived "Revolutionary Peoples Government of Rathfarnham" or RPGR led by the handsome, courageous, eloquent and erudite figure of Lord Rathfarnham. Authorities dubbed him "the Raven" because of his ruthless tactics and political guile. He funded much of their campaigns from his vast and mysterious wealth, whose source remains a mystery. He was the acceptable face of Pablo's clinical paramilitaries and these boyhood friends formed a formidable duo united by their hatred for the tyranny and corruption of Knocklyon. Historian A. Wall described them as a solemn yin and a fiery yang. Expansionist Plans The effectiveness of this group has been compromised since the discovery by UN weapons inspectors of a plot to construct Weapons of Messy Destruction. This resulted from abortive attempts by Ballyroan agents to import stockpiles of Paint Splat handguns which they said were for personal protection. This investigation uncovered simulataneous programs for enriching plutonium, bending time and growing Carbon Nanotubes for unknown purposes. These programs were the brainchild of mysterious mastermind Professor Baron von Kirwan. Little is known of this figure except that he had an idyllic upbringing by German Immigrant parents in a pretty house called Beech Lawn, where he would constuct airfix models and play around the Mulberry Bush or Wishing tree. This carefree play was interspersed by sessions with his stern mother who indoctrinated him with tales of the evils and vulgarity of Knocklyoners. She spoke fervently of how Ballyroan should annexe TempleRoan and she was confident that they would throw flower petals and line the streets in welcome of their saviours sporting the rich Maroon of Ballyroan. The Exiled Heroes He later secretly befriended a boy from Knocklyon called Rooster who ultimately betrayed him by sabotaging his shoes before an athletics competition in which they were both representing Colaiste Eanna. The Rooster Cock had grown jealous of his friend's superior prowess in every aspect of sporting and intellectual endeavour and this led to his failed bid for personal glory. After this the young Baron incumbent vowed to annihilate all of that tribe and devoted himself to a life of science in order to implement his final solution. He fled Dublin 14 in disgrace and was last sighted in the vicinity of his extensive undeground bunker complex off Fatesbury Street. He is believed to be shielded by sympathisers in the science community from both Ireland and Brazil. The Raven also remains on the run and has become something of an urban legend for his wild parties and rumoured orgies. The ever calculating Pablo escaped captivity in Australia and now moves between safe houses in Glasnevin (where it is said he sleeps above O'Connell the emancipators grave in a round Tower)and sometimes dwells in open defiance appropiately around Anne Devlin Drive. (she was a close associate of Revolutionary Robert Emmett.) He varies his appearance by sporting elaborate facial hair. The Struggle Continues... This network remains in close contact and despite the demoralising blow to their plans and enforced exile, they still enjoy widespread support within their community. They are currently undergoing the slow and arduous task of rebuilding their organisation and their leaders have made contact with rebel groups in Brazil, Vietnam, Burma, Cambodia, Malaysia, Thailand, Australia, the United States and Haiti who have pledged their support in the Future. This story remains unfinished as the war continues. History is written by the victors, soon we shall be busy recording our glorious deeds! General De Briefing, February 2006 EXTERNAL LINKS |
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