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Ankh-morpork Assassins' Guild




''Note:'' Much of the information repeated below was taken from the ''2000 Discworld Diary'', which had an Assassins' Guild theme, and has not been confirmed in any of the '' Discworld '' novels.

The Assassins' Guild as described in the books (especially '' Pyramids '' and the aforementioned diary) is a parody of English Public Schools , especially as they are portrayed in fiction.

The Guild of Assassins is located in a light, airy series of buildings opposite the Guild of Fools and Joculators, which is often mistaken for it, being a far more sinister building. It is currently headed by Lord Downey .


HISTORY

The Assassins' Guild was founded on 27 August AM1512 as the ''de Munforte School for Gentlemen Assassins''.

In AM1576 the school was elevated to the status of a Guild . The name was changed to the ''Royal Guild of Assassins''.

The 'Royal' was dropped after the 'events' of AM1688 (i.e. the Ankh-Morpork Civil War).

A co-educational establishment, the Assassins' Guild is known for providing the best education in Ankh-Morpork. Most of the nobility in the city (and beyond) send their children there. Very few actually become assassins; those who do not learn valuable weapon skills, but are mainly there for the arts courses. Pupils who do not intend to become Assassins are called "Oppidans", from the Latatian for "town." Guild graduates can be expected to be at home in any company, and to be able to play at least one musical instrument. However, those who do not graduate are generally never seen again; as noted in '' Wyrd Sisters '', the Guild is fond of competitive examination.


COAT OF ARMS

A red and black shield bisected by a purple sash. In the red half a cloaked dagger, in the black half two gold crosses (i.e. a double cross). Motto: Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre (No killing without payment).


SCHOOL RULES

  • No boy is to keep any type of lizard in his room.

  • No boy is to build a Deadfall in his room.



CODE OF CONDUCT

The Assassins' Guild has a strict code of conduct. It is considered absolutely unforgivable for an Assassin to kill (or as they refer to it, "inhume") for any reason other than being paid to do so. After an inhumation they must by law always leave a receipt. They must also give the client (they view the victim as the client) a sporting chance. With this in mind the Guild strongly disapproves of firearms (which are, in any case, extremely uncommon on the Disc), and also of most (but not all) other mechanical or chemical weapons.

It is accepted that an Assassin may find it necessary to inhume bodyguards, including other Assassins, while on a commission. However, if these can be incapacitated ''without'' being killed, it is considered good manners to do so.

In very rare cases, usually of personal offence, the head of the Assassins' Guild may stretch some of those rules, if only to make a statement. This is known as "Inhumation with Extreme Impoliteness ."

An Assassin must always act with style. Without style, he's just an expensive thug. They must always dress stylishly in black (which, although not the best colour for being unseen at night is the correct colour for being an Assassin) and must always seem vaguely bored and, if possible, slightly foreign.

The rules of Assassination are so utterly formalised and strict that anyone with a strategic mind, a decent budget, and a firm knowledge of their code can usually avoid death at their hands, as Sam Vimes has proved many times.


ASSASSINS FEATURED IN THE BOOKS

  • 71-Hour-Ahmed (appears in '' Jingo '')

  • Dr Cruces (former head of the Guild) (appears in '' Men At Arms '' and '' Pyramids '')

  • Lord D'Eath (appears in '' Men At Arms '')

  • Lord Downey (the current head of the Guild) (first appears in '' Men At Arms '', first appears as Guildmaster in '' Hogfather '', appears in '' Night Watch '' as a student bully)

  • Zlorf Flannelfoot, head of the Guild in '' The Colour Of Magic ''

  • Dr Follett (former head of the Guild) (appears in '' Night Watch '', based on Ken Follett )

  • Mericet (appears in Pyramids as teacher for Strategy and Poison; is said to have killed a former Patrician of Ankh-Morpork)

  • Robert Selachii (appears in '' Soul Music '')

  • Jonathan Teatime (pronounced "teh-ah-tim-eh") (appears in '' Hogfather '')

  • Prince Pteppicimon (Teppic) (appears in '' Pyramids '')

  • Lord Vetinari (no longer practising: current Patrician)

  • Jocasta Wiggs (appears in '' Night Watch '', one of the Guild's first female pupils)

  • Inigo Skimmer (Mhm-mhm) (appears in '' The Fifth Elephant '') Scholarship boy, one of the few Assassins who is not a Gentleman, but merely a very good craftsman, that is to say, a killer who feels no emotion in the execution of his duty save "craftsman's pride in a job well done". Used weaponry normally forbidden under Guild law outside the city boundaries.



OPEN COMMISSONS


Note: "Officially unlisted" means that, while the Guild has priced these people as "clients", it now refuses to accept contracts on them, on the grounds that their deaths would destabilise the city, endangering the Guild itself. Vetinari and Vimes are, as far as is known, the only people on this list.


SEE ALSO