Information AboutAl Bundy |
| CATEGORIES ABOUT AL BUNDY | |
| characters introduced in 1987 | |
| sitcom characters | |
| fictional football players | |
| fictional characters from chicago | |
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Al Bundy is a Fictional Character from the U.S. television series '' Married... With Children '', played by Ed O'Neill . The series never specified what name "Al" was short for, but the creators of the show said it was short for "Albert" or just been named "Al". He is a slovenly character who finds himself constantly downtrodden by life and forever regretful of the turns his life has taken since the end of High School , when an injury prevented him from playing College Football , and he got married. The character was so popular that it has left O'Neill somewhat typecast since the series ended production. Al Bundy is married to Peg Bundy, a shopping-crazed housewife who is unemployed, and does not cook or clean. Al mistakenly asked her to marry him after he got Drunk and was forced to follow through by her shotgun-wielding father (Peg may have been pregnant at the time). He is a father of Kelly Bundy , a promiscuous dumb blonde (actually dumb bleached blonde), and Bud Bundy , a perpetually horny nerd. He is a proud driver of a '74 Dodge Dart , built back in the era of American automotive T-Rex cars, and lives in Chicago suburbs. He works as a minimum-wage shoe salesman at the fictional Gary's Shoes and Accessories in the fictional New Market Mall. Al hates his job, loses it several times throughout the series, yet always ends up coming back to it. Despite being a somewhat phlegmatic and slow guy, Al posesses a very dry sense of humour, and a definite love for his family, though that can still be traded for a fair amount of money. Al hates fat women, his job, the prospect of having sex with his wife, and his Feminist neighbor Marcy D'Arcy . He loves dirty magazines, free beer, "nudie" bars, and often cherishes the glory moment of his past - scoring four Touchdowns in one game while playing for the fictional Polk High School football team. His favorite movie is '' Hondo '', favorite sitcom - '' Psycho Dad ''. Al and his friends founded NO MA'AM, the "National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood". Its purpose is to fight the increasing power of women all over society Through the Antihero of Al Bundy, the show portrays the dissatisfying existence of an average low-paid Working Class American male; no matter the circumstances or however hard Al tries he never comes out on top. JOBS HELD BY AL BUNDY
AL BUNDY FAMOUS QUOTES
AL BUNDY VERBAL EXCHANGES WITH PEOPLE AROUND HIM Peg : You haven't been very nice to my family. Al : Neither has nature, go bother it! Marcy : I am Marcy D'Arcy here on behalf of the Coalition for the Aesthetically Challenged. Al : Challenged? I'd say defeated, exiled and left for dead! Al (to a trio of fat women): So do you really work for Victoria's Secret ? Fat Woman : Yes, we work for the plus size store for Victoria's Secret. It's called Victoria's BIG secret. Al : I don't think Victoria can hold a secret this big. Peg : Ooh baby! Is that a nightstick or are you just happy to see me? Al : It's a nightstick and I'm not afraid to use it! Kid (scared) : I want my mommy!! Al : So does your dad's brother! Al : Come on kids. We're gonna watch a movie. We've got munchies and we've got each other. What more could we ask for? Kelly: Hope. Bud: Food. Kelly: Pride. Bud: Teeth. Kelly: An alias. Bud: Underwear. Al: Yeah, Yeah. An annulment. Seven: Dad, where do babies come from? Al: Normally, a 6-pack and 2 horny teenagers. Steve: Al, I'm really upset with your wife. Al: (indifferently) Kill her. Bud: I've got bad news. Al: The traditional Bundy greeting. Al: I want you to fan out and if you find mommy, or something daddy likes a little better, give the Bundy yell. Bud: I wanna die? Al: That's the one. Peggy: I want sex. Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag 'you' into it. Aaron: Al Bundy? The all-state Al Bundy? Al: I was. Aaron: I thought you died in 'Nam . Al: Actually, I started that rumor. I died here at home. A victim of Agent Red. Al: I got a scholarship to go to college. Aaron: What happened? Al: I didn't go. Tackle broke my leg. Wife broke her water. Marcy: I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. It's just that I feel violated. Someone's been in my home and my bedroom. I feel so helpless. Al: We'd all feel helpless in your bedroom, Marcy. Lady: I want something to go with this dress. Al: A bubbling Cauldron ? Lady: You've got a lot of nerve. Al: I need it to get this close to your feet. Peg: You spent $300 on flowers for a guy that's not dead while your family goes hungry and your wife goes naked. Al: I'd kill before I'd let you go naked…and no jury would convict me. Peg: Did you miss me? Al: With every bullet so far! Peg: Hi, honey. We were just deciding who was going to you up . Al: Why not use the method you used on our wedding day? Y'know, have a couple of your Uncles baseball bat my knees and throw me in the trunk of their car. Or were they stuck in Wanker County, where, as Einstein would have put it, everyone's relative. Peg: My baby's gone. Hold me, Al. Al: I didn't hold you when we conceived her. Why should I hold you now? Peg: Al, why don't you get a license plate that tells the world how YOU feel? Al: Because 'KILL ME' was taken by your father. Peg: Hi Al. Honey, Kelly's been stood up. Al: Must bring back memories for you, huh Peg? Anyway, I was driving home, God knows why, and I hear this old song on the radio that I used to love but can't remember the name. Now, why is it that whenever you hear a song on the radio and your waiting to hear them name it, it's always number 6 of 40 in a row? Jefferson: Why are you running, Al? Al: Can you seriously look at me and ask that? Fat Lady: I want my money back. I've worn these shoes only once and they split at the sides. Al: Let me explain. Just like an elevator, there's a 2 ton weight limit. How about I just nail the soles to the bottom of your feet to give you added traction while you're pulling the ice wagon. Fat Lady: You'll be hearing from my attorney. Al: Is that the law firm of Haagen & Dazs ? Peg: Why don't you ever rock me, Al? Al: 'Cause I'd rather stone ya. Al: Son, always remember the Bundy credo: "Lie when your wife is waking, lie when your belly's aching, lie when you know she's faking. Lie, sell shoes and lie. Bud: Is that actually our family credo? Al: No. No, the actual Bundy family credo is: "Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum, hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb." Jefferson: Your cousin Jimmy beat me up…He thinks I slept with his wife. Al: Well, let him sleep with yours, that'll be the end of him. Jefferson: Look, I'm innocent, Marcy. Think rationally. If I wanted a young, pretty, sexy girl, I never would've married you! Al: Yeah. Why go out for a succulent steak when you've got a dried up strip of beef jerky at home? Peg: Gee, Al, I wish you could feel my heart. Al: I wish I could feel your throat. Peg: I bought a new dress. How does it look? Al: I don't know, Peg, I'd have to see it without you in it. What do you need a new dress for? There's no one in the TV looking out at you Peg: My horoscope says 'Buy a new dress. You are about to embark on a new and unique undertaking.' Al: The 'undertaking' does have a nice ring to it. Peg: I don't know. I've always seen myself in a Jaguar. Al: Oh, if we could only find one that hungry. Peg: What does '' Cheers '' have to do with Christmas? Al: What does NBC have to do with television? Jefferson: Al, turn on the TV, Psycho Dad's on. Al: Yeah, and my wife and kids are just figments of Stephen King 's imagination. Al: Don't you know all horrible things happen in threes: celebrity deaths, Pauly Shore movies, Wilson Phillips . In my own case: marrying Peg, Bud not moving out and, 3... 2... 1... Peg: Al, something horrible has happened. Al: The hell you say! Peg: That was my parents had a terrible fight and now Mom left and Dad can't find her. Al: Did he look behind the Rockies ? Al: You know, Peg, I hate it when your mother weebles down here for her little midnight snacks, which last till nine in the morning. Peg: Mom does not eat between meals. Al: I know, Peg, because in order to eat between meals, the first meal has to end. Peg: Al, don't you know how traumatic this is for me? I now come from a broken home. Al: towards the stairs As do I! Peg: Oh, give Mom a break. She's distraught. Al: She is humongous! Peg's Mother: {Link without Title} I'm just retaining water. Al: The Hoover Dam is retaining water - She is retaining Skittles ! Man: Hey Bundy, car broken down again? No one will give you a ride, heh? Al: Well, maybe I should've asked your wife. She always gives everyone a ride. Peg: Now, I want you to take this to work with you and hang it up, so I can be with you all day long. Al: Well, that kinda defeats the purpose of going to work, doesn't it? Jefferson: I’m suing you for distress. Al: You want to talk about distress! What about the time you left your shades up and I had to watch Marcy undress? Peg: You don’t like anything! Al: Starting with you! Jefferson: Al, you've got to help me. I've done something terrible. Al: I know. I was at the wedding. Fat Woman: I don't understand. Before aerobics, I used to fit in a size 6. I guess all that jumping expanded my feet. Al: I see you've must've fallen on you butt a time or two. Fat Woman: How dare you say that to my face! Al: Well, I'd say it behind your back, but my car's only got a half tank of gas! Peg: We want a phone, Al. Al: I want a life. Good luck to us all. Bud: Being without a license, dad, does it make you feel any less of a man? Al: No, son, that's your mother's job. Marcy: What would it be like if men had breasts? Al: We wouldn't need women any more. Peg: And if you had what other men have, I wouldn't need batteries anymore. Al: That's what happened to my Diehard . Marcy: Guess what happened at the bank today. Al: Holdup man gave you his mask to wear? Peg: Face it, your barber's dead. Al: Why couldn't it've been someone who wouldn't be missed, a wretch of a human? Why couldn't it've been your mother? Madame Olga: I feel very strong vibrations here. Al: Peg Did you leave your toy running under the couch again? Peg: Al, take me! I wanna have sex on the kitchen table! Al: I wanna have a meal on the kitchen table. Learn to live without it, I did, goodbye. Al: You know why women want men to hang up their pictures? Aaron: So we appreciate - Al: No! It's to mark their territory. Funeral Director: You're planning you funeral early. Do you have some terminal disease? Al: Yes, marriage. Peg: Kids, do you think daddy should wear his wedding ring when he's dead. Al: I married you 'til death do us part. So when I'm dead, I'm free to date. Peg: This is your final resting place? There is no room for me. Al: That's why they call it a resting place. Steve: Doesn't anybody know this is against the law? Al: So is dressing up a Chicken and calling it your wife. Marcy: Al, what is Peggy's favorite movie? Al: '' The Great Escape ''? Peg: That's your favorite movie. Al: Gee, I wonder why? SONGS Bundy The No-Man (sung to Frosty The Snowman ) Bundy the No-Man He's as bald as he can be With hair on his nose, and rot on his toes He's as bald as he can be Bundy the No-Man He's as bald as he can be He's entered old age, making mininum wage He's as bald as he can be Married Man's March My wife will never cook or clean She still my money spends Who knew when I first chose my mate That she would put on that much weight Or sex we like for sure If it only weren’t with her Please K-I-L-L, K-I-L-L, me, me, me A Bundy Christmas Carol 'Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the house, No food was a-stirrin', Not even a mouse. Stockings were hung round Dad's neck like a tie, Along with a note that said, "Presents or die." Children were plotting All night in their beds, While the wife's constant whining Was splitting his head. But daddy had money This year in the bank, Then they closed up early, And now dad's in a tank. ...And all of a sudden, Santa appeared, A sneer on his face, Booze in his beard. "Santa," I said, As he laughed merrily, "You do so much for others, Do something for me." "Bundy," he said, "You only sell shoes, Your son is a sneak thief, Your daughter's a floose." "Ho ho," Santa said, "Should I mention your wife? Her hair's like an A-bomb, Her nails like a knife." He climbs up the chimney, That fat piece of dung, He mooned me two times, He stuck out his tongue. I heard him exclaim, As he broke wind with glee, "You're married with children, You'll never be free." Psycho Dad Theme From the episode: Al ... with Kelly (#501) Who's that riding into the sun. Who's the man with the itchy gun. Who's the man who kills for fun! Psy-cho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad! He sleeps with a gun, but he loves his son. Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton... Psycho Dad! From the episode: Teacher Pets (#621) A little touched or so we're told Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold. Might as well, she was gettin' old. Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad. He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done. Killed his wife by twenty-one, he's Psy-cho Dad! From the episode: The Worst Noel (#813) (The Psycho Dad Christmas episode) Who's that riding in the sleigh. Who's that firing along the way. Who's got the most popped on christmas day? Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad. From the episode: Kelly Knows Something (#823) Who is the tall, dark stranger there. The one with the gun and the icy stare. The one with the scalp of his ex-wife's hair. Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad! He's a durn good pa, but he hates the law. He's to eat it raw, Psycho Dad! Who's that ridin' across the plain. Who's lost count of the wives he's slain. Who is the man who's plum insane! Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad! From the episode: I Want My Psycho Dad (Part 1) (#913) (Al sings this version himself) Who's gonna ride into the sun? Who's the man with the itchy gun? Who's the man who kills for fun? Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad. SEE ALSO EXTERNAL LINKS |
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