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1001 Ways To Beat The Draft




Here is a short excerpt of Kupferberg's list:

:# Grope J. Edgar Hoover in the silent halls of Congress.
:# Get thee to a Nunnery .
:# Fly to the moon and refuse to come home.
:# Die.
:# Become Secretary Of Defense .
:# Become Secretary Of State .
:# Become Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare.
:# Show a li'l tit.
:# Castrate Yourself .
:# Invent a Time Machine and go back to the 19th century.
:# Start to Menstruate . (Better red than dead).
:# Attempt to Overthrow the government of the United States by force and violence.
:# Advocate sexual freedom for children.
:# Shoot Up for a day.
:# Refuse to speak to them at all.
:# Enroll at the Jefferson School Of Social Science .
:# Replace your feet with wheels.
:# Rent a motel room with a ewe.
:# Rent a motel room with a ram.
:# Say you're crazy.
:# Say they're crazy.
:# Get Muscular Dystrophy when you're a kid.
:# Marry J. Edgar Hoover.
:# Take up residence in Albania .